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 so much for my [H A P P Y] ending, Dollis Feels//Shade
dyann london carroll
 Posted: Jan 14 2013, 12:26 PM
Quote
261 POSTS
5'1"
if i had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, wouldn't be. And what wouldn't be, it would. You see?
25
Single
Bicurious
Solar IS Offline
Alice




I'M LOSING SOMETHING DEEP INSIDE OF ME
Running. She had ran for so long. Her leg hurt, her entire body hurt. The missing heel from her Mary Jane made escaping more difficult than it should have been. One block. Two block. Just three more blocks. Everyone was staring at her, yelling at her when they had to jump out of her way. She didn't care, she needed to get home. She needed to be safe. What had happened at the restaurant had left her freezing to the cold, and feeling violated. This is something she never thought would have happened. Never in her entire existence did she expect to be taken advantage of like she had been.

Coming upon the third block, as she was crossing the street; she lost her footing and fell. She felt the stinging scrape of the sidewalk tearing at the delicate flesh of her forearms and knees. The pain shot through her and she cried out in anguish. She wanted to lay on the sidewalk- lay there sobbing. She couldn't. Home. She needed to get home. It was the only safe place left in this world. Pushing herself back up again, she started running again. A slower pace than before, for her knees were now swelling and bleeding from the fall. She could feel the blood trickling down her legs.

The fourth block. Just ahead. There. Her breathing was coming in ragged now. Her chest on fire from lack of pure oxygen. Limping up the front steps to the building, she slammed her hand against the door, tears streaming steadily down her face. Why did she have a stupid automatic door? To keep men like him out. Swallowing back a managed sob at the fresh thought of him, she dug in her purse, her fingers brushing against the broken chain of their necklace. A tremor of hurt coursed through her, and as her hand gripped around the scan card, she was somehow able to make the door open with the first try.

Stairs hurt. She was able to make it up the first few steps on her own, but the broken heel of her shoe make her off-balance and she stumbled against the railing. Using that for the next landing and a half, her knees gave out from under her, and she fell atop the steps. The rugged wood of the steps digging into her soft flesh, opening old wounds and creating new ones. A mangled cry escaped her lips, and she laid there for a moment, sobbing into her arm. She just wanted to get home. Fine, she would just crawl. And crawl she did. She managed to make it up the last half of the second set of stairs when she saw her door.

So close. Pushing herself shakily to her feet, she stumbled the few short steps to her safe haven. Turning the doorknob, she was both upset and pleased to know that the door was unlocked. Pushing the door open, she almost fell in; thankfully she had a vice grip on the doorknob. Quiet, she needed to be quiet. As quietly as one could manage to shut a door between sobs, she sat her purse halfway on the small stand they had by the door. Letting her coat fall to the floor, she kicked her heels off, holding her arms out to balance herself when she was finally on level ground.

Looking around, she didn't see Hollis. Exhaling deeply, she ran her forearm along her eyes and stared at the eyeliner and mascara that was now streaked against her flesh. Shower. She needed a shower. Holding her breath, she tried to creep down the hallway to the shower. Undressing as she walked, she let the corset crumple to the floor, her shrug found a new home on the back of the kitchen chair, her skirt fell to her feet and she wished right then she hadn't let that happen. In her distressed state, she couldn't lift her leg properly and she tripped over the ruffled fabric.

Once again, she was on the ground. So much for being quiet. It was then, on the cold hardwood floor of their open kitchen, she started sobbing again. She was a complete mess, that Alice. In nothing but her undergarments and ripped stockings, her forearms smeared in dried blood and running eye make-up while her knees actively bled on the floor. She reeked of failure, of despair. Surely Hollis would flee in her state of distress. He would know what had happened and he would leave her. No one would want a Broken Alice. An Alice that was taken from- her happiness shattered by another man.

Without a care in the world, she started sobbing. Gut retching sobs that shook her entire body and made her throat sore. She covered her messy blonde head with her arms, not caring that she was streaking pink through her hair from the welled up blood. She needed to cover herself so no one would see her. So no one would be able to see the Broken Alice that was a crumbled mess on the kitchen floor. She shook harder as the tears flowed like the Nile down her smeared face. Never in her life had she prayed for Hollis to not be home so hard in her life. He couldn't see her like this. He simply couldn't.

Managing to push her shaking self to her hands and knees, she managed to crawl the short distance from where she landed to the opening of the hallway that led to the bathroom. She couldn't do it. She wouldn't be able to make it to the shower and Hollis would see her. He would see her in the weakest state he had ever, would ever, see his Alice in. She pulled her bloody, fishnet covered legs to her chest and rested against the wall. Fresh tears were just rolling down her cheeks, along her throat, and pooling up at her collarbone. Resting her head against the wall, she stayed curled up like that, trying to sob her way out of existence.

TAG; HOLLIS | WORDS: 1021 | OUTFIT: BROKEN HAPPINESS.
@ alice from caution!

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hollis artemis braith
 Posted: Jan 14 2013, 07:27 PM
Quote
214 POSTS
6'2"
Twas Brillig ~ Oh! Hello! I didn't see you there. You really must learn not to stand so out of sight. It's not polite to the shadows you see. They spend so much time perfecting their technique that you really do throw off the balance they're trying to master. it's quite rude.
25
taken
taffy-sexual
Shade IS Offline
The Cheshire Cat


“A Shield, A Sword - Pain Will Never Come Again.”

It had been a lazy afternoon for Hollis. With nothing to do, he had simply wanted to spend it with Dyann. But, much to his displeasure his little blonde girl had other plans. Meetings with editors and lunch dates that a Cheshire such as himself was obviously not invited too. Despite his best efforts to sway her into bringing him, such as outing and hiding her shoes until she agreed to do so, Dyann remained adamant that this was a meeting that was to be held privately. He, of course, sulked on the end of the couch until she made promises to bring him home some of the delicious tuna that he loved so much.

But now what was he to do with himself? It had been quite a while since Hollis had been on his own for nearly an entire half day. He’d forgotten what it was that the used to waste time doing. Lurking on the streets, singing songs from high in the trees, stealing a puff pastry from the local street vendor that was half blind and could never seem to tell him from Adam. Hollis stretched out on the couch. He could do Anything. Anything at all. But what should he do?

Tucking his hands behind his head, Hollis fell back onto the couch, his feet crossed and propped up on the arm of the couch. He blinked slowly. He could read a book. Perhaps go and do some scouting. Oh! There were those sketches that Dyann had asked him to do. He smiled, eyes drifting closed. The taste of honey on his tongue as he thought of her.

When he opened his eyes, the entire apartment had gone dark. He sat up with a start. I’m blind! I – oh…. He giggled as his eyes spotted the street lights that light up the outside world. He must have dozed off. Hollis scratched his head, the mass of white blonde hair only tangling further as he walked to the wall and flipped on the lights. Dyann should be home soon right? Right? A whimper bubbled in his throat. H needed to do something before he drove himself mad and started to juggle kitchen knives again. That had been an interesting time. He nearly sliced off his finger. Surely Dyann would have had kittens if she’d seen.

A soft blush colored his cheek. Oh dear. He needed to clear that head of his. It was far too fuzzy from sleep, leading him down roads that were never supposed to be traveled. Spinning on his heel, Hollis stalked to the bathroom, pausing to quickly grab his favorite sweater and a pair of baggy blue sweats, and shed his clothes quickly hopping into the shower once the streams were deemed hot enough for the cat. Hollis wasn’t sure how long he lingered under the water, thoughts on what he could do. Sleep was always an option, even if he did just wake from a long catnap. But truth be told, he owed Dyann those sketches. Yes, he’d have another lemon tart or three, and then work on those sketches. Turning off the shower, Hollis stepped out. Quickly drying and dressed and, with the towel looped over his shoulders, he opened the door. And froze. A sob drifting to his ears.

Hollis felt his heart twist as his breath was robbed from him. Dyann. His Alice. What was she doing like that on the floor? Salt. Iron. Hurt. She was hurt. In an instant Hollis as on his knees at her side, sharp eyes looking her over, taking note of the minor scratches. Her dress where was her dress? Why was she sitting here in her undergarments and torn stockings. His mouth ran dry as he tentatively reached a hand out, his fingers shaking, not liking the conclusions that he was drawing from seeing her in this state. “Alice…?” He whispered, his voice a dry rasp, choked on the thorns of fear. “Dear Girl, what happened? Are you in pain?” For once he was at a loss to do, afraid that if he did much more then touch her gently she would shatter to broken pieces of porcelain beneath his clumsy fingers.



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dyann london carroll
 Posted: Jan 15 2013, 10:44 AM
Quote
261 POSTS
5'1"
if i had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, wouldn't be. And what wouldn't be, it would. You see?
25
Single
Bicurious
Solar IS Offline
Alice




I'M LOSING SOMETHING DEEP INSIDE OF ME
She was lost in her sobs. Falling deeper into the black hole that was forming in her chest, that she didn't notice Hollis standing there- in such a state of shock that would have made her cry harder. So engrossed in trying to make herself disappear, she jumped at his soft words- like a terrified animal who was abandoned in the woods. Her eyes burned from her tears and make-up, but she could see that Hollis was paler than normal. He had an outstretched hand, but he refused to touch her. He knew. Oh God he knew what happened and he wasn't going to touch her. A fresh onslaught of tears swept over her, and she covered her face to hide her disgrace.

"D-don't lo-loo-look at me!," she choked out between choked sobs. She felt exposed, broken. He didn't need to see her like this- he held her too high on a pedestal for her to be laying there on their kitchen floor, shattered and broken. She tried to curl up in a tighter ball, but as her arms grazed against her scraped knees she winced and tried to scoot herself back. Her body couldn't move anymore. She was far too tired to leave this spot. Once again tonight, her body was betraying her. First with the replacement editor, and now with her Hollis- no. He wouldn't be hers anymore; he wouldn't want a Broken Alice. Not at all.

Her body shuddered with a new wave of tears, and she pressed her scraped palms to her eyes to keep them from falling. This was worse than the time she grew much too large for the small hallway and flooded the room. She would surely flood the entire city block if she kept it up. Rubbing at her eyes like a clumsy 5 year old, she managed to look up at him. He had a halo surrounding him: a halo of gold and Cheshire colors. Her shattered heart thudded against her chest and she quickly looked away from him. Why was he still here? Why was he asking if she was hurt? In pain? Why Cheshire, why are you still here?

Trying to speak again, she was at a lost for words. Her sobs had taken away her ability to properly speak, and her body was too tired to gesture. She needed a bath. A long soak in scalding hot water. To clean these wounds and try to clean her soul- but she knew that no matter how hard she scrubbed, nothing would make her clean again. But Hollis was right there, in that sweater that was too large for him. Her chest ached to reach out and touch him, to fall against his chest and finish breaking against him. But she couldn't. It wasn't his place to watch her crumble, and yet- that's what he was doing.

Looking into his grey eyes, so full of concern- her red and black eyes must have been a sight for him to see. Adverting her eyes so he couldn't see the hole that was growing in her chest, she forced herself to be closer to him. She needed to be near him, even if he wouldn't want her. As she tried to sit up properly, her arm that was supporting her gave out from under her, and she fell forward; right into his open arms. That sweater of his cushioning her fall.

Sighing heavily, she gave it a weak nuzzle as she felt no arms around her. He was either in such a state of shock that he didn't know what to do, or he was disgusted that this Dirty Alice was trying to find comfort in him. She couldn't fight herself anymore. Even though she knew he would turn her away, she couldn't help but want his comfort- his guidance again. He was, after all, the Cheshire Cat, and he was so good at guiding those he felt like guiding. "Ju-just this once....," she muttered under her breath. "Just... one mo-more time." Her hand had managed to rest upon one of his knees, and she inhaled deeply of his scent. He smelt like honey and tea- just like he always did.

Laying there against Hollis, she stared off at the other side of the flat. Out the window. Watching the shadows twist and turn in the flickering street lamps. She didn't want to leave anymore. To go out there. Her mind steeled around the thought of Hollis leaving her. She wouldn't let him- he couldn't! It wasn't her fault.... it-it wasn't.... "I'm-so terribly s-so-sorry, Cheshire....." Her fingers ran up his leg shakily, clutching to his sweater. "D-don't.... don't go... please.." She was trying to cling to him, but her body was only letting her move so much. "I-it- yes... I hurt...." Hurt was just the underlining of it all. She was Broken from the inside out. Fractured in places she never thought possible to be fractured.

TAG; HOLLIS | WORDS: 830 | OUTFIT: BROKEN HAPPINESS.
@ alice from caution!

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hollis artemis braith
 Posted: Jan 17 2013, 06:10 PM
Quote
214 POSTS
6'2"
Twas Brillig ~ Oh! Hello! I didn't see you there. You really must learn not to stand so out of sight. It's not polite to the shadows you see. They spend so much time perfecting their technique that you really do throw off the balance they're trying to master. it's quite rude.
25
taken
taffy-sexual
Shade IS Offline
The Cheshire Cat


“A Shield, A Sword - Pain Will Never Come Again.”

For once in his life, Hollis was at a complete loss of what to do. Here was Dyann, his precious girl, sitting in the hallway sobbing and in shambles. His instincts telling him to crawl up into her lap and nuzzle against her face until she dried those tears. Except he wasn’t a cat any longer. He was Hollis, a human being here. Surely he should, in that case, pull her into his lap and cuddle against her until all was once again well. But she told him not to look at her. As though she was ashamed to have him see her in this state. His shoulders fell. Did she not want to be around him any longer? Had he not seen her cry time and time again in Wonderland? He didn't think any less of her for baring this sort of emotion. Hollis was actually quietly impressed.

Tears. Such a strange show of emotion. He wasn’t sure if he’d ever cried before in his true state. No, he didn’t believe so. His mind far too much a blur of color from the effects of Wonderland and all its topsy-turvy glory. Hollis knew the first time he’d cried was when he first came stumbling through the portal and realized, that night in the asylum, when everything came crumbling down around him. Surely he would have liked it if he had someone there, despite his distress, to hold him and make him feel at peace with the world.

Just as he was about to move to embrace her, she fell against his chest, whispering for just this once…and that she hurt. His heart twisted, a chill running over his skin like the cold hand of a winter storm had brushed him.

Alice…” he whispered, shifting to tug her into a more fitting position for them both. Having her sit across his lap as he leaned against the wall. Arms wrapped tightly around her, Hollis rested his lips atop her head. A thumb tracing small circles on the skin of her bare forearm.

How badly he wanted to ask her what happened. Fort he details to come spilling out like tea form the spout of an upturned pot. But she should calm down first. Gather her bearings. She would tell her Cheshire in due time, he was sure. For now he would do as she asked and simply be, humming softly under his breath as he placed gentle kisses on top of her head. That little tune that was his favorite. The first thing she’d ever heard him sing that day they met.



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dyann london carroll
 Posted: Jan 19 2013, 11:46 AM
Quote
261 POSTS
5'1"
if i had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, wouldn't be. And what wouldn't be, it would. You see?
25
Single
Bicurious
Solar IS Offline
Alice




I'M LOSING SOMETHING DEEP INSIDE OF ME
To her surprise, Hollis didn't shy away from her. He didn't push her away either. Instead, he gently whispered her name and pulled her into his lap. His touches were soft, gentle, and caring- completely opposite of what she thought she would have gotten. Maybe she was overreacting with this whole situation, maybe Hollis would understand, and he would protect her and scold her for not letting him come with her. How she wished for that. He still didn't know. She was still too terrified to say anything about it.

The gentle circles he was brushing along her forearm made her shiver the first few times. After the touches she had received from that replacement editor, she was almost scared to be touched like that again. Hollis was persistent though, he wasn't going to let her out of his grasps no matter how much she squirmed and tried to pull away. As she was slowly, very slowly managing her breathing into something that wasn't crazed hysterics, she looked down at his hands. He seemed so much darker than her in this moment. He was always the one that was more fair than her, but tonight it seemed the roles were reversed. She was whiter than a porcelain doll. She didn't like it. Hollis did not do well with darker skin than she.

As he was gently kissing the top of her head, she felt her stomach turn a bit. He was comforting her. He was making the effort to be sure she was safe. She sighed heavily, slowly closing her eyes and basking in the moment. She was so fearful of him leaving when he found out what had happened, that she didn't want to end this moment. Through her weak sobs, and heavy breathing, she heard something. Something that made her eyes slowly flutter open. Hollis was humming, not just anything- but his song. The song he had song when he first met her. "Twas Brillig and the slithy Toves" She smiled softly against his chest, wrapping her arms around his waist. This was what she wanted- to forever sit with him in his arms as he hummed his song, their song.

Deep down, she didn't want to tell him. She didn't want to ruin this little moment with the pain that she was harboring inside. She needed to though, he needed to know why she was in shambles and almost naked, with scrapes up her knees, on her arms, and her stockings torn from her fall. As to why she was growing almost horse from all the crying she had done. Why she felt like he would leave her. He was still humming gently, and even though she hadn't actually heard it since her time in Wonderland with him, she knew it by heart. She knew what part he was on: "So rested he by the Tum Tum Tree". Any other day she would have joined in with him, made little facial expressions and poses to distract him. Trying to make him break his train of thought and giggle.

Her stomach gave another turn and she whimpered softly against his chest. She felt dreadful, and knew she couldn't have looked any better. She would at least wait until he finished? Yes, that sounded like a good plan. Quieting her thoughts for just a moment, she listening in to where he was at. Oh yes, "One two one two, and thru and thru". Her mind started to wander again. How was she going to tell him? What was she going to even say? She should tell him the truth- for starters. Don't leave anything out.... it was the proper thing to do. She needed to be honest with him. Oh but she was so fearful of him shoving her off of his lap and looking at her with those emotionless gray eyes he would have. It would shatter her heart into even more pieces; broken beyond any repair.

He was coming towards the end, and she was dreading it.

"Twas brillig and the slithy Toves" She honestly didn't think she could do it.

"Did gyre and gimble in the wabe," She would forever have a distaste in the ending of this song now.

"All mimsy were the borogoves" What she wouldn't give for him to just be able to read her thoughts.

"And the momeraths outgrabe." She was not ready for this. Not at all.

Their song was over, and he was still caressing her arm, still gently kissing the top of her head. She didn't think she could go through the events that had happened earlier again. It wasn't a matter of should she or shouldn't she, it was a matter of could she? Was she going to end up shattering the happiness they had, leaving her feeling more broken than before? IT made her head spin and she closed her eyes with a weak groan. She was going to have to sooner or later. Keeping her arms wrapped around his waist, she mumbled weakly into his chest: "My editor didn't show up." Her stomach tightened. She had already started, which meant she couldn't back out now. Besides, she was positive of that broom dog appearing behind her and sweeping away any chance of backtracking she could possibly have.

Turning her head so she wouldn't be talking into that overly soft sweater of his, she very slowly started to explain herself. "I.. I was there before anyone showed up. There-there was champagne, and... and I was too engrossed in how it tickled my nose to notice..... him sit down." A knot formed in her stomach now, and she pulled an arm away from his waist to press it against her stomach. This will be the toughest thing she ever did. She would taken getting lost in Wonderland over the pain and queasy feeling she was getting right now. She could still see his face as plan as day: dark, chiseled, and full of desire. She winced and drew her knees to try and cradle her stomach.

Taking a deep breath, she continued on. "It-it was because she was ill. They, sent a replacement. I-I don't know why. But... he took us to a quieter area of the dining area. And... oh God Hollis...." She squeezed her eyes shut tightly, trying to fight back a fresh wave of tears. Her voice was caught in her throat, and she had to forcefully cough to get it back, even when she didn't really want to continue. "I-I stayed professional. Spoke of my ideas, and-and how I.... how I wanted you to be my illustrator." Her cheeks flushed, and she sighed heavily. "I-I was going to surprise you with it. It.... it was why I asked you for those sketches....." I didn't want to see other people oggling you as you walked down a runway. "I'm so sorry.... He.... he wouldn't stop flirting with me."

She felt the circles on her arm slow. She didn't want him to stop, but she didn't know how to say it. She didn't want to sound needed, but that's what she needed. She needed his tough upon her arm, giving her a little bit more strength than what she had. His chin had rested upon her head, and she wanted to plead for more kisses. Instead, she stared straight ahead of her, and as silent tears fell down her cheeks, she knew she had to finish it. "I told him no. That I wasn't interested. But he.... he was.... persistent. But he was a gentleman about it. I-I honestly didn't notice until it was too late." And it was true. She was so wrapped up in getting Hollis a proper job that he would enjoy, and correcting him on his compliments, that she hadn't really noticed how bad he was hitting on her. Not until he was caressing her, and calling her breath-taking.

Another pain rolled in her stomach and she felt it in her throat. She was going to be sick. There was no denying it. But she couldn't. Not now. If she stopped, she wouldn't be able to continue. Swallowing back the bile that was at the edge of her mouth, she closed her eyes to keep the room from spinning. "Then.. then I spilled my water. In shock, I jumped up to attempt to clean up the mess, and I.... Ifellintohislap." She rushed that last part out and she winced when the circles upon her forearm stopped. Oh no-no it wasn't like that Hollis, please don't think that! Please..... "I didn't do anything though! I-I got up and tried to dry my skirt. But... but he stood up and... and he was being so... he just.... he caressed my cheek and pulled me into a kiss." She felt a small heave in her stomach and she covered her mouth with her hand. Oh this was not going to end well.

Swallowing once more, she felt her eyes drift to the back of her head at the taste. Just, just a bit longer. "Th-the next thing I knew... I was.. he had- he had me against the wall of the room we were in. His... his hands...." She shuddered violently and a small sob choked her. She could still feel his dirty hands over her. Trailing up her skirt, along her stockings. How he was trying to undo her corset. The pressure he had used to keep her pinned. "I tried... I tried to get out. Then he.... oh God Hollis.... he broke the necklace. My necklace...." She was crying again now, a hand clasped to her neck. She felt naked without it around her neck. She wore it everywhere, all the time. "I-I don't think it-it broke. My-my shirt softened the fall. But... but he yanked it from my neck..." Everything hurt. She couldn't do this anymore. She wanted to crawl into a hole and just die.

"He.... he wanted me, so bad." She swallowed back more bile. "I.. I had to.. keep him... dis-distrat-distracted. So... so he wouldn't see me looking for...." anything. "Something to get him off of me. I, I grabbed a fork." There was a small smile, a very small smile, traced upon her lips at the thought of driving that damn fork deep into his arm. She hoped it would scar. Would remind him to not mess with her again. Most importantly, she wanted it to hurt him. "And I, I drove it into his arm. Then.. then I got my stuff and....." I ran to you Hollis. He just sit there. Speechless and motionless. She couldn't even tell if he was breathing....

Up. She needed to get up. Her stomach hurled and her hand was to her mouth once more. Quickly. Bathroom. She managed to worm her way out of his loose grip and ignoring the pain in her knees, crawled to the bathroom. It was still steamy- he must have showered. But there. Her goal. Pushing the seat up, she felt everything come up in a heavy heave. This was the breaking point. She fell limp against the toilet, her face almost touching the water, as she felt her stomach try to heave up her entire being. All the hurt. The pain. The shame. Everything as she half sobbed half choked into the porcelain God. She just wanted to melt into the floor and die.

TAG; HOLLIS | WORDS: 1916 | OUTFIT: BROKEN HAPPINESS.
@ alice from caution!

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hollis artemis braith
 Posted: Jan 27 2013, 04:06 PM
Quote
214 POSTS
6'2"
Twas Brillig ~ Oh! Hello! I didn't see you there. You really must learn not to stand so out of sight. It's not polite to the shadows you see. They spend so much time perfecting their technique that you really do throw off the balance they're trying to master. it's quite rude.
25
taken
taffy-sexual
Shade IS Offline
The Cheshire Cat


“A Shield, A Sword - Pain Will Never Come Again.”

Hollis’ voice softened as his song came to an end. It had always been one of his favorites though for the life of him he could never remember where he’d heard it. It was just one of those things he supposed. A song that weaseled its way into his ear and burrowed itself deep into the recesses of his subconscious. Those silly, useless words were constantly flowing in his head like an unusual mantra. He inhaled softly against Dyann’s hair, the blonde locks tangled and windblown. Dear Girl, what have you been doing today? Look at your hair. This is not the Dyann I know. Not the proud Englishwoman. You look like a child again Dyann. All cuddled up in my lap, crying like this. Whatever shall I do with you hmmm?

Hollis’ hand stopped tracing the circles on her arm, his lips pulling back from her head, only to smooth out the rumpled mess that was her hair. His long fingers gently picking away the tangles as he ran his hand through the fine strands. Perhaps it was simply the cat in him that did this course of action. After all, pettings like this often calmed him down. Even though he was no longer a proper Cheshire and had become something far more twisted then he ever thought possible. A Cheshire in a man’s body. Such a strange thing he was now. But at the heart of it all, he was still who he’d always been. Just different.

Hollis listened as Dyann’s silence broke, whatever it was that was bothering her far to heavy to stay behind a barrier of tight lips and clenched teeth. At first, he’d thought perhaps her editor had simply not shown and the girl felt like she wasn’t worth her company’s time anymore. But the more she spoke, the greater sense of dread filled his stomach, something sour lodging itself in his throat as Dyann ripped herself from his arms and shot into the bathroom.

He sat there in silence for a moment. Staring at the ground, his face perfectly blank aside from the slight raise to his eyebrows. Someone, some man, had tried to take advantage of his Dyann. Some...some bastard had tried to take advantage of his Dyann.

Snap.

Hollis felt something in him shift, he heard it as clear as day inside his head. Like ice cracking or fragmented glass grinding against itself. A fracture, spreading in a spiders web design. Rage. He felt anger bubbling in his chest like venom, something he hadn’t felt sin the wars of Wonderland, a growl trying to work its way past that thing stuck in his throat. His fingers clenching and unclenching, claws that existed only in his mind sheathing and unsheathing with each movement. HE should find this thing, this worm,, this useless ball of flesh that did not even deserve to be called – The sound of retching drew Hollis’ eyes.

Alice…” She needed him. Carefully he plastered his fractured self back together and crawled to his feet. He could find this man later. If he was a replacement, surely the office would have records of who thy employed. Names. And more importantly, addresses.

Making his way unto the bathroom, Hollis crouched by Dyann, gently pulling on her shoulders to keep her from drowning herself in sick and toilet water. “Dyann…Alice. Dear Alice…Come now. Lift your head…You’ve nothing to be ashamed of.” She’d fought valiantly, stabbed the creature even. Something he wished to do himself. “Come now…Let’s get you cleaned up my Dear One, my brave girl.” She was distraught he knew this, but he had to get her calm at least. Get her cleaned up, a spot of tea. Then bed. Something to get her heart calm and soothed. A broken necklace was easily fixed, but Hollis knew Alice would not be so easily glued back together. But she was still his Beloved Alice and that was all that mattered.



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dyann london carroll
 Posted: Feb 1 2013, 11:58 AM
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261 POSTS
5'1"
if i had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, wouldn't be. And what wouldn't be, it would. You see?
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Alice




I'M LOSING SOMETHING DEEP INSIDE OF ME
Clinging to the base of the toilet, she felt everything inside of her crumble. Never. Never in a thousand, no- a millions years had she ever thought anything like this would happen. This was the whole reason she only worked with women. Stayed with women. Women wouldn't do this. Her stomach heaved once more, and she noticed he didn't come to check on her. Her heart shattered, and fresh tears poured down her cheeks. She was right. All this time, knowing the outcome- it didn't stop it from hurting any less. If it was possible to just rip one's heart out, she would gladly rip hers out in an attempt to ease the pain. Even though the Portal had given her an adult body, had let her stay with her family, she was still a young girl deep down. Still that seven year old girl that tumbled down the Rabbit Hole and landed in a world where they walked upside down.

He just sat there. After being so tender, humming their song, trying to untangle her hair, he just stayed there. Somehow, that hurt more than any form of verbal rejection he could've said. Another heave. Her throat was so sore. Her eyes stung. Everything around her was spinning. Surely she could just die from the shame alone, right? Laying there, in a crumpled heap on the floor, she heard the door creak. Oh great, now she was imagining things. She heard his voice, and the sweetness that was in it felt like daggers in her chest. She tried to lift her head from where she let it sit, but she couldn't. She was really far too weak. He was kneeling beside her, pulling her hair back and lifting her head for her.

"... you've nothing to be ashamed of...." Was he really saying that? Why would he be saying that? Again, his touch was gentle, his voice was soft. She was confused. He was helping her? Calling her brave? Her mind was reeling, and once again the room was spinning. She managed to draw a shaky hand to her mouth, in an attempt to clean her face off. He shouldn't see her like this, he really shouldn't. Yet, he was still there. Turning tired, red eyes up to him she tried to study his face. She tried to study his face. His eyes told her nothing, at least nothing she could decipher. Perhaps she was just too tired. Yes, too tired for all of this right now.

She reached a shaky hand up to gently caress his cheek, and she tried to force a smile, and surely it would have been a nice smile if her mind wasn't being thrown around in the blackness that was slowly taking over. Pulling her hand back for fear he would surely reject her touch if she let it linger for too long, her head rolled in the direction of the tub. Cleaned up. She needed to get cleaned up. Get these stockings off. Instead of moving, she found herself leaning against Hollis. He was warm. Comforting. Yes, she needed him.

"S-sorry...." She was at a lost. Once again, she was lost and there was the Cheshire. Sadly, he wasn't all smiles and grins this time. There were no riddles to distract her mind. "Water... please..." Her throat was so very dry. So rough. Maybe if she had something to drink, it would wash away all of this disgust she tasted. "Cleaned.. up... yes...." Letting her body do most of the work, she fell to her hands and knees once again, and made the short distance to the tub. Everything she tried to do was hard. She was really just so tired. Just turning the faucet was a chore. However would she make it in?

TAG; HOLLIS | WORDS: 636 | OUTFIT: BROKEN HAPPINESS.
@ alice from caution!


psychotic

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hollis artemis braith
 Posted: Feb 19 2013, 12:50 AM
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6'2"
Twas Brillig ~ Oh! Hello! I didn't see you there. You really must learn not to stand so out of sight. It's not polite to the shadows you see. They spend so much time perfecting their technique that you really do throw off the balance they're trying to master. it's quite rude.
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“A Shield, A Sword - Pain Will Never Come Again.”

Never before had he seen Dyann in such a state. Of course he’d seen her cry, several times before. Once she cried enough to cover an entire portion of Wonderland in an ocean of salty tears. Or so they said. Hollis didn’t doubt it for one second. Alice had a rather curious effect on his home world that was both fascinating and unsettling. But even more disturbing to him was the tears that covered her pale cheeks in dark makeup. It was wrong.

But he pushed his musings aside as she rasped for water. Leaving her side for just a moment to stand at the counter and fill the class that was left beside the sink. He looked up, his eye catching movement in the mirror, making him turn. “Alice!” Cool water sloshed over his hand as he took the step and a half to drop to a knee beside her. “Dear girl, Don’t move just yet. Sit. Drink this.” He waited until she obeyed, until she got situated sitting and passed her the glass of water. “Sip it slowly now…

The last thing he wanted was for her to drink the glass in two mouthfuls, making the water upset her stomach and rendering her unable to keep anything down. Planting a kiss to her forehead, Hollis pulled away once more, reaching for the faucet knobs and turning them to the proper temperature that he knew Dyann favored. His eyes turned to he bath salts and bubble bath mixtures that lined the side of the tub. For a moment he contemplated adding some. Perhaps adding a bit of vanilla or lavender to the soak would help to calm her. But just as he was about to shift for them, he thought better of it. Not wanting her to latch onto the scent as a trigger that would throw her back into this dark memory.

As the tub filled, Hollis turned back to his beloved girl. “Relax dear One.I’ll take care of everything. Worry lingered in his eyes as he painted a little smile on his face to curl his lips into something that was remnant to the Cheshire face she knew and loved. Kissing the top of her head once more, Hollis shifted into a better position to slowly start undressing her. Nothing sexual in his movements, no gentle brushes to tease her. It was simply the motions of a man far too worried that if he so much as touched her wrong, his love would crumbled and break, turning from fragile glass into nothing but sand. And carried away by the wind, far out of his reaching fingers. “Was there anything you wanted?” At this point, to simply see her smile once more, to be able to erase all this mess, Hollis would do anything.



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dyann london carroll
 Posted: Feb 21 2013, 03:10 AM
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261 POSTS
5'1"
if i had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, wouldn't be. And what wouldn't be, it would. You see?
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Alice




I'M LOSING SOMETHING DEEP INSIDE OF ME
Covering her face with a hand, she tried to hide herself from him. She felt so ashamed of herself- ashamed of everything that happened. How was he able to look at her? She had asked for water, wanting a distraction so she could try and get cleaned up. The tightness of her throat would thank her later, but the slick, slimy feeling that crept across her skin needed to go.

She watched him as he filled the drinking glass they left in the bathroom for late night drinks. The effort it took to get from a sitting position to one that would possibly take her closer to the tub took a lot out of her. As Hollis cried her name, no- her title, she looked up at him with such tired eyes. Within a flash he was at her side, helping her sit up again. One arm was wrapped around her shoulders, while the other held the glass to her lips, trying to get her to hold it.

Grasping the glass with shaking hands, she took a drink much larger than she intended, and quickly coughed as it went down the wrong pipe. He was cooing in her ear to take small sips, and she couldn't help the weak smile that crossed her features at how she jumped the gun. Taking another small sip, she closed her scratchy eyes as the cool water caressed her sore throat. Oh what she wouldn't give for it to be a hot, steaming glass of Earl Gray. It was times like this she missed her tea.

He kissed her forehead gently, like he had done so many other times before tonight, and she felt that small spark she would feel between them. So it hurt to be away from him when he left her resting against the wall to fix the water for her bath. At least she hoped he would make it a bath. She had no strength whatsoever to stand long enough to try and wash the filth off of her. Taking another small sip from the cup, he pulled back and knelt beside her once more. He caressed her cheek and she couldn't help but nuzzle against his hand as he mentioned 'relax.'

A small whimper left her lips as he pulled the empty glass from her hands and sat it on the tub's edge before kissing her head once more. His lips were ever so soft upon her flesh. Unlike the lips of that other man... She shuddered violently at the thought, and she saw Hollis' hand pull back from her. Shaking her head she wrapped her hands around his and looked at him with pleading eyes. It wasn't you Hollis. Don't shy away from me, please...... As she stared up at him, she saw that smile upon his lips that always made her heart swell. He was still here. After everything that had happened, he was still here with her. Protecting her. Helping her. Oh...

Her eyes widened as he started to finish undressing her, and her cheeks flushed scarlet against her pale flesh and she turned her head a bit to avoid his gaze. She knew he meant nothing bad about it, but she still felt ever so embarrassed that she wasn't capable of getting herself into the tub. His touch was so gentle, the way his fingers moved along her flesh made her heart slow. He would never fully understand how thankful she was that he was actually home. She would not have been able to handle herself in the state of mind she was in. Her breathing caught in her throat as he asked her in a soft voice if there was anything she had wanted. Oh Hollis... if only you knew.

Stretching her legs out under the covers, she felt the bandages drag along the sheets. Looking at the handiwork of Hollis' wrappings upon her arms, she looked up to see him standing in the doorway with the small bedside tray in his hands. Smiling softly at him, she scooted over in bed as he sat the tray down and held out her cup for her. Cautiously, she took the delicate cup in both hands, letting the warmth flow from her fingers, up her arms, and throughout the rest of her body. "Th-thank you..." Holding the cup to her lips, she inhaled deeply the scent of warm milk laced with honey. Her cup of tea. She watched as he made his way into bed beside her, wrapping one long arm around her waist and pulling her close, she couldn't help but curl up to him, resting her head against his chest. Blowing softly at her tea, she took a small sip and let a sigh of relief escape through her cracked lips.

He had helped her get cleaned up, dressed, teeth and hair brushed, and actually tucked her in bed before he left her to go make tea. Taking another sip, she let herself be washed over by the content silence of the two of them, save for the casual sips from their respected cups. She wasn't sure whether to be grateful or worried that he was as calm as he was. Nuzzling her cheek against his chest, she felt his chin rest upon the top of her head and she smiled once more. Possibly the first full smile she left grace her face since she came home. She really didn't deserve all of this. Didn't deserve him treating her so well. Spoiling her and holding her close. But that didn't stop from from being thankful.

"Hollis.... Hollis I-" The words weren't coming to her, and she licked her lips softly as her brows furrowed together. How was she suppose to thank the man that had just treated her like she was his child? Nurturing her and making sure she was content and not accusing her of things she didn't do? Scolding her on leaving by herself, getting dragged into the mess she had found herself in. Sighing heavily, she took another small drink from her cup. It was rich, and smooth, and overly sweet. Just like him. Tracing a small circle along the rim of the cup, she tried again: "I just... you see it... what I'm trying to...." She huffed heavily and fought back a yawn as she tried to find the proper way of going about it.

A chuckle caressed her ears and she felt him kissing her head once more. Wrinkling her nose she lifted her head to look up at him. "Wasso funny?" After everything they had went through tonight, he was laughing at her for being speechless. She pouted and slumped her shoulders a bit, running a hand through her hair before looking back up at him. The way the light of the bedside lamp played across his skin and reflected through his hair, it made him look like he was heaven sent. An angel who wore a disguise of lavender and pink stripes, speaking a tongue of riddles. She couldn't help but giggle a little, as a yawn passed through her, and she lazily took another sip, realizing her cup was empty.

With her lower lip sticking out a tad, she leaned over him to sit the empty cup on the bedside table. As she pulled away, she decided it best to wrap both of her arms around his waist and chest, tilting her head up to kiss his cheek. "Thank you, Cheshire- for always being here when I need you most." Resting her head back upon his chest, she let the sound of his heartbeat echo in her ear. She wanted that heart to beat for her. To rise and fall to keep her safe. She knew that for now, he would stay by her side. But with the night coming to a close, she was realizing just how badly she didn't want him to leave. To get bored with her plain self and wander off to help some other girl through Wonderland. Her eyes slowly drifted close as a purr rumbled through his chest and her own heart did a flip in her chest. "And i..... am ever... so... so..rry..."

Yawning widely once more, she curled herself against him, keeping her arms around him and on of her legs drawn over his lap. Blinking ever so slowly, she felt his hand upon her cheek once more, tucking some hair behind her ear as she slowly nodded off to the sound of his breathing lullaby.

TAG; HOLLIS | WORDS: 1429 | OUTFIT: BROKEN HAPPINESS.
@ alice from caution!

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