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 come what may, tag: lola/solar
thomas north bale
 Posted: Mar 26 2015, 12:05 PM
Quote
183 POSTS
6'4"
how do you lose what you've never had?
25
unavailable
heterosexual
Sam IS Offline
Thomas


i'm rolling with the punches, till i fall down

He didn't remember when he'd decided that he was going to stop wasting his life trying to fight a battle they'd never win, but on some level the decision had been made. Maybe it was that night he'd almost died, or the dreams that came after of a life that was almost too perfect. Despite the darkness seeping across the sky like the inky tendrils of some mutated sea creature. Or maybe it wasn't either of those things, but rather a combination of both. Nearly dying, only to wake up and realize that he didn't have a life? The fact that he didn't have anyone or anything to live for; that he lived and breathed the resistance when he'd never wanted to be a solider in the first place. These kinds of things stripped the hope out of him in a slowly draining process, that left him feeling breathless and empty.

The consequence was that he'd been spending less and less time over there, and more time in New York. So much so that he'd even found himself a job, just because he couldn't bring himself to live in the complex after...well that dream. He certainly couldn't bring himself to mooch off of Lola much longer.

Especially not after what happened.

He told himself he wouldn't think about it anymore, and he tried to push the memories of that night as far away from his mind as possible. Throwing himself into work, or the striking out on long pointless quests and missions in the animated world. It wasn't right that he was avoiding her, she was his friend, and it was obvious she wanted to talk to him about it after they'd woken up tangled in her bed. Except he just couldn't bring himself to do it. Just looking at her brought everything flooding back; every touch, kiss, the wandering of fingers. It had been quick, almost desperate, but somehow it still felt like it had lasted for an eternity. When it was done, he'd felt better, and that made him almost sick to think about. Like he'd taken advantage of a close friend. Like he'd messed up something important yet again. During a time in his life when he couldn't walk outside without feeling like he was drowning if someone wasn't there to reassure him he was okay.

Sitting on the cot in his bedroom, he ran his hands through his hair. Still wet from the shower and only half dressed, he was already beginning to wonder if it was worth it to finish getting ready or if he should just crawl back into bed. What he should be doing is what he should have done ages ago; talked to Lola, apologize. Talk about the weather. Anything.

He could feel that inner turmoil pulling him down, so when the doorbell rang he happily accepted the distraction. "Coming!" He yelled, fishing out a black tank-top and slipping it on before padding towards the door.

He very nearly froze, and almost unconsciously slammed the door shut, when he saw who was standing there. Seeing her, his whole demeanor deflated, cheeks flaring red, and eyes widening. "L-Lola? Uh....hey?" One blink and he saw it; hands pulling her onto the bed, fingers trailing along her sides, lips pressing to her throat. Anxiety flooded him, as he tried to force his mind to think on anything, that wasn't...that. "I-is everything alright?"


### ,solar. /time jumped a little x.x i hope it's okay ,

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lola amethyst parr
 Posted: Jul 2 2015, 07:13 PM
Quote
203 POSTS
5'3"
Hm? Oh! Hi there! Is everything alright? I know everything around here seems scary, but there's nothing to be scared of! You see, there's this group. Filled with courageous beings. All looking out for you. Me? Oh. Heh. I'm just a nobody. Nothing special. But I'll help you the best I can.
26
Single
Bicurious?
Solar IS Offline
Violet Parr


so roll with punches, just roll with the punches
There was a sense of longing. Of dread that crept through her as she sat on the bench just outside of her friend's apartment complex. Even now, just a few months along, she had to adjust herself when she sat down. Her small frame would make the next couple of months a nightmare as she felt the tears swell up at the corners of her eyes. Rubbing forcefully at them with the back of her hand, she still got flashbacks of that night.

She'd just came through from the Portal. She was only gone long enough to give everyone their rations for a few weeks and she was back to her apartment. Back to him. She had managed to talk him into doing something. Of getting out of the apartment and just have a good time. She should have realized by the look in his eyes that there was something else planned. That when he suggested just staying in instead, as his hand wrapped around her wrist. The memory of his warmth upon her skin caused her to shiver violently. It wasn't that she didn't want him, but after everything they'd been through.

It wasn't fair to either of them.

Yet, as she placed a hand to the bump on her stomach, it had still happened. There were days she hid in her apartment and sobbed after he left. Days where she thought about leaving entirely, but after the first few symptoms, something told her otherwise.

Her doctor had seemed so happy for her, even the nurses as they smiled proudly at her. Slowly she shook her head in disbelief. They didn't know what this meant for her. For him. For the entire Resistance. Was this how Eila felt in his dreams? Or was she overjoyed with the thought of possibly being done with fighting? A choked laugh bubbled from her lips as she covered her hand to keep herself from throwing up in her lap.

Eila wasn't real.

The vibrating sensation of her phone pulled her back to the reality: her alarm going off to let her know that it was time. Pushing herself from her bench, she avoided the staring eyes of strangers as she made her way into the complex.

Looking around, she smiled to herself as she surveyed the area. He was doing well for himself. There was an actual guard station here, unlike her own apartment. It'd be good for the future. Again she shook her head, her hair flaring out around her. She shouldn't be thinking about that right now, even if the thought was true.

There was little time to plan how she was going to explain things to him as she found herself standing on the other side of his door. Would he be home? Did he even want to see her? After that night.... He just left. She'd only managed to get the information she had by asking around. Their friends, mainly Astrid and Arthur, had known about his departure. They were just as worried about him as she had been, but Astrid seemed almost frantic when she'd gotten a full glimpse of her. Even then, on the other side of the Portal, you could see the bump. Another wave of fear washed over her as she pressed her eyes shut with the palm of her hands. She needed to keep herself together. If not for her, or him, but.... for them.

Inhaling deeply, she pressed her finger against the doorbell and waited, hands cradling her stomach. Hair stood on end at the sound of his voice yelling "Coming!" So he was home. She wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not as she stood there, rooted to the spot.

Their expression had to have been the same as he stood there in the doorway. His arm was taunt, as if he were about to shut the door in her face. Her cheeks were on fire as the sight of his barely covered chest brought back another hot flash of memory; the sensation of that heated chest under her fingertips. The passion that had been in his kisses. Her heart skipped a bit as he stammered out his question.

"H-hey...." Her voice was quiet as she forced herself to keep eye contact with him, for fear she'd hear the door slam if she so much as blinked. "Uh.. y-yeah. I-I guess." Swallowing the lump in her throat, she found her arms circling around her as her fingers clutched to her shirt.

"I-is it alright if I, um.... could I come in?"

this is for THOMAS. it's 773 words. LOLA is wearing this
made by malone at caution 2.0

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thomas north bale
 Posted: Aug 1 2015, 02:56 PM
Quote
183 POSTS
6'4"
how do you lose what you've never had?
25
unavailable
heterosexual
Sam IS Offline
Thomas


i'm rolling with the punches, till i fall down

There was a brief moment when he was running through everything. A mental whir of different worries; he saw all his friends laying in hospital beds, he saw the rubble of the fortress from some attack, he even went so far as to picture John. Returned from who knows where but dead or dying. The worries of a soldier at war despite how far he might run or how much distance he might have placed between himself and the other side. Going over only as much as necessary, doing the bare minimum and leaving the running of things to Astrid and Arthur. Seeing Lola on his doorstep even after the night they'd had, and the discussion he knew he couldn't run from forever, it was always the resistance that came to mind first. He should have relaxed when she said everything was alright. Like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders, as the tragedies of war stopped momentarily flashing across his memories. Instead what he felt was a mental shift from one set of worries to another. It'd be a lie to say he hadn't been dreading this day, though he had no true idea of just how far the consequences of their actions would be effecting him. It was the guilt he felt for what he'd done, the disgust in himself for having taken advantage of her. One of his closest friends.

And his guilt had only grown, as it often does, like a poison seeping through his veins. He hadn't just taken advantage of her, he'd run like a coward. Vanishing from her home the following day like she wasn't someone important.

Then there was the other feeling.

She's not real, you didn't betray her. You didn't turn your back on your family. He had to repeat it to himself over and over and over again. Going so far as to yell it into the sky until his voice cracked and broke. Yet no matter how hard he tried the fake memories followed behind him, clawing at his back and mind. Making him see things that didn't really exist whenever he lacked enough sleep, or drank enough alcohol. Tendrils of blond hair, large blue eyes. A world that was his and yet wasn't. It was like two grinding gears of guilt with him in the middle. Lola to one side and the dreams of Eila to the other. Crushing him down, sanding him until there was nothing left. Seeing her standing on his doorstep looking so terrified so...different. It brought all that to mind, made Thomas feel like he couldn't quite catch his breath. The air was in his lungs, and his chest was moving but it felt like he was trying to inhale and exhale solid rock. He suddenly felt dizzy, woozy, and the hand that had been set to nearly slam the door in her face loosened. Till he was leaning heavily against the door frame.

This was bound to happen, he knew it was, and his eyes turned blank in response. "Yeah." He said, and though his voice sounded steady, it also sounded vaguely like a dead man's. He took a step back, pulling the door with him and gesturing her to come in. He wasn't looking at her, or through her. It was almost like he couldn't see anything, didn't want to see anything. "Come in. The kitchen's right through there...don't have a couch or anything yet so..." He gestured towards the mismatched little dining area that peeked through the door of the kitchen area. Sparse furniture all around but homey and a decent sized apartment. Perhaps a little on the big side considering he was living alone. Then again when you'd gone from tiny home, to ship cabin, to tent in a war. It wasn't really that surprising he'd looked for something bigger...something like the home he would have gotten if...

Well, just if.

Numbly he closed the door once she was inside, and then had to just stand there for a moment trying to figure out what to do. His brain wasn't working, and his skin felt hyper sensitive and all too aware of his surroundings. He could feel the charge of the room, the charge that layered the air between them.

When he could function again he moved slow, deliberately, like he was wading through molasses. His steps taking him into the kitchen and his eyes remaining squarely focused on nothing. Just blankness. "D-Do you want anything to drink?" He risked a glance at her, taking her in for the first time since the split second it had taken him to realize it was her at the door. The cogs on either side of him were grinding in tighter and tighter, twisting against his skin all too suddenly. It felt like they were squeezing the life out of him.


### ,solar. /this hurt. like ow. ,


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lola amethyst parr
 Posted: Aug 15 2015, 03:13 AM
Quote
203 POSTS
5'3"
Hm? Oh! Hi there! Is everything alright? I know everything around here seems scary, but there's nothing to be scared of! You see, there's this group. Filled with courageous beings. All looking out for you. Me? Oh. Heh. I'm just a nobody. Nothing special. But I'll help you the best I can.
26
Single
Bicurious?
Solar IS Offline
Violet Parr


so roll with punches, just roll with the punches
Standing in his doorway, she felt so small. So miniscule. It wasn't even the obvious fact that he had height on her. The weight of the knowledge she had to relay to her friend, her one night lover, the father of her child; it was like a constant cloud that hovered over her no matter where she went. Even if he had ran, tail tucked between his legs, he needed to know. It wasn't fair to him to keep him out of the loop, though she assumed (multiple times) that he would find out. With her tiny frame, the baby bump wouldn't take long to show- especially in her Super Suit.

Anxiously she waited in the doorway with baited breath, eyes wide with the question of whether he was going to let her in or not. He seemed to certain in that moment to just leave her standing in his hallway, but with her eyes trained on his face, she had been able to see the shift in his facial expression. In an instant he'd gone from complete shock to a blank stare, a look that caused her stomach to drop.

He didn't want to see her.

Tightening her grip on her shirt, she nodded silently as he finally invited her in. Breaking their eye contact, she quickly lowered her head as she hurried past him, the heat of his chest calling out to her as she passed. That sight was once so inviting, but now it only made her feel sick.

Dark eyes lifted from the view of his floor to glance around the apartment, a small smile pulling at the corner of her lips. It was nice. A little empty, but nice none the less. "O-Oh. It's, uh. It's ok." An attempted smile was forced to her face, but her eyes closed to hide the pain that shone within them. He didn't need to see that. He didn't need to worry about that. At least not right now.

Movement behind her caused her to turn slowly, eyes catching sight of him as he walked towards the kitchen with his head bowed. Was he really that ashamed of her? Did she do something wrong that night? The insecurities ate away at her insides as she stayed rooted to the spot. She wasn't good enough, and that was why he'd left her so quickly the next day. The thought made her wince, and a hand left her side to press against her chest. An ache started to grow in her heart, and she turned her head away from him as she allowed her insecurities to manifest into a monster inside of her.

Hesitation in his voice made her raise her head, and with a frown she gave a small nod, feeling ashamed to impose on him without notice. This was a bad idea. "Ju-just a water... would be nice..." That wouldn't be too hindering, would it? She could feel his eyes on her, and she inhaled slowly as she kept her head turned from him, the familiar sting growing at the corners of her eyes. She hadn't even said anything yet and she was about to lose control of her emotions.

Silence settled in the air before he moved. Before he taken in her words and went to the sink. Following, as if she were a lost puppy, she stood beside a chair as the sound of running water seemed to drown the dead air that surrounded them. A startled gasp left her lips at the sound of the glass being placed upon the table, and her eyes shot up to him, her cheeks growing hot once more as he seemed to stare at her.

Have you finally noticed?

The voice inside of her head seemed rude, as if insulted that it had taken him this long to realize. Swallowing the block that seemed to have formed in her throat, she gave him a small nod before her tongue came out to wet her lips. "T-thanks..." She was getting no where fast with the way she was acting. Lifting her eyes as if she were facing her father after being scolded, she could feel the sensation of her body starting to fade. It was strong in her legs, and she knew that it wouldn't be too long before she completely turned. Steeling herself, she placed a hand upon the back of the kitchen chair for support before opening her mouth once more.

"Thomas, I- that is... T-there's something I need to tell you."

this is for THOMAS. it's 762 words. LOLA is wearing this
made by malone at caution 2.0

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thomas north bale
 Posted: Aug 21 2015, 11:52 PM
Quote
183 POSTS
6'4"
how do you lose what you've never had?
25
unavailable
heterosexual
Sam IS Offline
Thomas


i'm rolling with the punches, till i fall down

Water. A water. Simple enough, right? He didn't understand why it was taking all his mental faculties to do that one task. Something he'd done countless number of times before. He didn't even need to think to do it, it was all supposed to be just instinct by now. Grab the glass, put some ice, fill it. Repeat. Except that in that moment he had to slowly recite each step in his mind, and coax his limbs to go through the motions. It wasn't until he'd gotten water and ice into a glass that he realized his hands were shaking. The tremor wasn't new. It came and went with erratic frequency since he'd woken up from the coma. The doctors called it a nervous tic, a sign of stress, but not something he needed to be worried about. Even if he hadn't had it before, and it would come and go at the most inopportune times. Like now.

He could hear her taking a seat behind him, hear her voice ringing in his ears. And even though he'd finished fixing up the drink he couldn't turn around just yet. He had to set it down, clamp his hands hard on the counter, and just breathe for a second. Force the vibrations were echoing through him to fade. Some inner part of him that still held onto faint hopes and the strength of who he'd been, told him that he could handle this. Urged him to take a breath and calm down so that whatever came next could finish crashing into him. He was on land, he was in his apartment. He would not drown.

Oh but it certainly felt that way as he turned with the glass clenched a little to tightly in his fist. Forcing himself to set it down gently in front of her, to look at her and not through her. Trying to will himself to be the old Thomas. The one that would have slipped easily into the seat across from her and offered a smile. Perhaps not the world's happiest smile those he'd reserved for...but at least it would have been something. Then again the old Thomas wouldn't have gotten into this situation in the first place. There would be no shame or guilt melting his insides like acid. Their friendship wouldn't be hanging in the void somewhere, set to fall or drift away like it had never been.

Surely that wasn't what this was? They needed to talk, it wasn't their friendship crumbling under his feet. Surely he hadn't done that much damage?

The thought made ice form around his heart and a chill settle into his spine. Eyes that couldn't seem to focus, tried to see her through the haze. There was something different, something off, something he should recognize. And for a moment his mind flashed with those memories. The ones that seemed real but weren't. In his dreams he'd lived a full life almost. He'd been married, had a child, and it was that last realization that made him almost collapse into his own chair across from her.

He had messed it up that bad, hadn't he.

There was a hard swallow, and his eyes lost whatever little focus they'd found again. The cogs were back, grinding him into the floor. Only now there was water on top of everything else. An ocean of salty waves crashing over him and making the tremors start up even more violently before. "A-about what?" Instantly his hands dove under the table, clenching so hard on his lap that he could feel his nails sinking into his palms. If they drew blood he was too scared to life them and see. Too scared to let anyone see that he'd been falling apart for ages now.

"W-wait...Lola..." he paused, he'd nearly shouted that, and the loudness of his voice shocked even him. Eyes widening briefly and the rest of his words fizzling out. Except he'd spoken, and he needed to finish. Before she said her piece, before the earth under his feet gave way and everything he knew vanished or changed. "I-I'm sorry." There was a catch in his throat, and that blank stare focused only to feel tears prickling in his own eyes. Because he could see now what he'd done and it was shattering him, and it wasn't even all of it. There was more, he could see it in her face, even if his mind refused to accept any of it. "I-I know it's not enough, but I-I'm sorry. For what I did..." For being me, for not being stronger. For everything.


### ,solar., oops. ,


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lola amethyst parr
 Posted: Oct 3 2015, 07:45 PM
Quote
203 POSTS
5'3"
Hm? Oh! Hi there! Is everything alright? I know everything around here seems scary, but there's nothing to be scared of! You see, there's this group. Filled with courageous beings. All looking out for you. Me? Oh. Heh. I'm just a nobody. Nothing special. But I'll help you the best I can.
26
Single
Bicurious?
Solar IS Offline
Violet Parr


so roll with punches, just roll with the punches
Her stomach turned, and she could feel the faint movement of the child within her as she watched him with anxious eyes. Had he finally figured out that she was pregnant? That their little one night stand had left them with something so much more than a memory that they could have pushed back and covered with a cloud of other thoughts. Their decisions had left them with an innocent life that would need their unyielding attention, affection, and protection.

She was going to be a mother.

The thought, as it had many times before that, caused her emotions to flare. Her breathing quickened, and her palms became sweaty. Even after taking her seat, she felt herself standing for fear of phasing through the chair- something that she knew wouldn't happen. The tingling sensation of her powers flicked to life through her, and she could feel it even stronger in her legs. She wasn't sure if she could make it through this little en devour in one piece. Or, at least not completely whole.

His voice was so shaken when he asked what they needed to speak of. Her heart swelled with the motherly instinct to cross the space between them and hug him tightly, but his face filled her inner mind. The face that clearly said he didn't want to see her. But he needed someone to offer their shoulder. His voice had clearly betrayed his face.

Watching as his hands hid under the table, she tried to swallow the lump in her throat once more. For just a moment she had the courage to tell him. To be the responsible adult that her parents would have wanted her to be, but with that overly baring request to wait, she felt as if she were about to be grounded. To be told that she had messed up and would be forced to leave. To never get a chance to let him know.

A distinctive change in his volume made her jump, causing her hands to rest against her stomach in attempt to protect her child from the loud noise. She knew it wouldn't do anything, but she also had the instincts to protect those whom couldn't protect themselves. The action caused her stomach to churn once more, and she silently prayed her morning sickness would stay at bay. He didn't need to see her so weak, not when he looked at her with distaste in his eyes.

Ears ringing from his apology, Lola took a half step back out of shock. One hand had left the security of her belly bump to rest on her chest, and she stood there frozen in place as he all but folded in on himself. Why was he apologizing? "T-Thom-" Her vocal chords tightened and the sting that had earlier been in the corners of her eyes grew strong as she took a hesitant step forward. He needed her to hold him. Why couldn't she bring herself to take that first step that use to come so naturally to her?

Biting the inside of her cheek, her hand lowers and she found her arms wrapping around her stomach once more. Why was this so hard? Why did this even have to happen to them? They were friends. Companions. Fighters for the same cause. Why were they being punished for something so human? It wasn't fair, she thought to herself as her eyes shut with enough force to leave her seeing spots. She wanted her Mother. Wanted the knowledge she could bestow upon her, and the gentle whispers of encouragement that would help her continue on with her day. She wanted her Father. The man who use to chase away the monsters from under her bed and held her higher than the sun itself. She wanted nothing more, than in that moment, to be the little girl she use to be. When times were easier and all she had to worry about was not showing her powers to the other school kids. Why did she ever complain about a life that sounded so much like heaven right about now?

A silent sob fell from her pursed lips, and she raised both of her hands to cover her face, tilting her head down so her hair covered her face. She could feel the sensation of herself turning invisible, and could feel her child stirring within her small frame. She didn't want to be here anymore. Didn't want to be stuck in this position as she fought internally to pull herself together.

Her head started to sway back and forth, in a gesture of her head shaking, but she knew he couldn't see her. Knew that she could have easily slipped from his apartment and made it back to the comfort of her's before anyone would have known, but she couldn't move from her spot. "D-don't....." Her voice was weak, buried under the emotion and pain that was brewing inside of her. Why did anyone even have to apologize? Was an apology going to fix anything between them? Again; Why was this happening to such good people?

Without another word, her legs moved of their own accord, and she found her arms wrapping tightly around his shoulders as she forced herself against him. She didn't have the strength to say anything. Didn't have the courage to voice the truth that was growing within her. But there was enough of her to know that he needed someone to hold him. Even though he looked at her with such distaste earlier, it was evident in his voice that what he meant was true.

this is for THOMAS. it's 944 words. LOLA is wearing this
made by malone at caution 2.0

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