Add Reply
New Topic
New Poll

 misery loves company, Tag: Solar/Damien
kira felicity king
 Posted: Jan 13 2014, 02:12 AM
Quote
>
kira felicity king
N/A POSTS
IS N/A


None of us are angelsand you know I love you, yeah She stared at the message on her phone, her eyes growing weary as she read it over and over again in her mind. It sounded pathetic. She sounded pathetic. She couldn’t send it. Her shaking fingers quickly hit the cancel button and stuffed the device into the pocket of her hoody. It had gone on like this for the past hour, pulling her cell from its home in her pocket and typing out a half-hearted message to her friend, only to stare at it until it mocked her enough to cancel it all together. She hated the way she sounded so needy, how it seemed lost and weary, disconnected from who she usually was. But what else could be expected of her? She just had her heart ripped from her chest by someone she truly cared about. Someone she thought maybe she loved… could replace the emptiness in her heart. She swallowed hard, fresh tears forming in her eyes as she pulled her legs onto the couch, wrapping her arms around them and hiding her face from the world. She had never experienced anything like this in the world. Never knew what it felt like for her whole world to crumble beneath her feet and swallow her whole, leaving her alone and numb to everything but the bitter sorrow that had taken her over. For everything she had held close to her heart and loved with every fiber in her being, to be brutally ripped away. And all because of one person who had managed to get so close to her already vulnerable heart. She didn’t know how to handle it, how she was supposed to pull through like those around her had advised. ‘He wasn’t worth it’ they’d say, ‘You deserve much so much better[‘ they’d comfort. But none of it worked. She was distraught, and Ben and Jerry’s ice cream didn’t seem like the proper solution to fill the void that had once been Jude. Like clockwork, she pulled her phone out again, scrolling through her contacts until she realized she didn’t have one, the person she wanted to contact not actually having a phone number for her to message. Not matter how much to stared at the contact list, no number magically came, and as she opened a blank message and typed a pathetic variation she couldn’t even send, her heart sunk into her stomach and she quickly stuffed the phone back into her hoody. Even if she wanted to, there was no way to get in contact with him. All she could do was sit in her apartment, her knees tucked to her chest and in her hoody, and wait until the urge came back again to reach out for human contact. To reach out to someone who would give her some sort of advice that might help… or no advice at all. Just give her a shoulder to lean on and distract her. Guiltily she pulled out her phone again, bloodshot eyes staring at the recall list of recent calls. Her finger clicked on the down button, torturing herself as she counted how many times she had actually tried to call him. She didn’t know what she had done… what had happened between them with everything having been so great. What did she do to deserve this? To deserve radio silence… to be completely and utterly ignored? At first she had thought Jude had just been busy… that he was helping his uncle with something important. They didn’t have to talk everyday, especially with such a weird and undefined relationship. But days turned into a week and as her fear grew so did the time. It was like he had vanished form the Earth. All messages had went ignored, her calls ringing until she got his voicemail. Until finally, a month or so later, she gave up all hope. He didn’t want her… want anything to do with her. She wasn’t good enough. And she just wanted to know why. She wanted to be angry, to yell at his voicemail in hopes he’d at least listen to the pain he caused. She wanted to hate him, to feel a burning, seething, revulsion at the thought of his name. It would make this process easier… but all she felt was emptiness—lonely and all consuming emptiness. For the second time in her life, her love was thrown back at her like it didn’t matter, like she didn’t matter, and just like before she couldn’t even bring herself to be angry. She couldn’t even rationalize with herself, tell herself that she shouldn’t be so upset over this. Were they really all that close to begin with? No? So why should she let this bother her? Because. He was the first since Kovu… the first person she let in, and that made him special. That made his betrayal even worse. Without realizing she had started crying again, Kira pulled her legs from her hoody. She had had enough of sitting in her misery alone, staring blankly at the same walls hoping beyond hope someone would reach out to her. She was getting stir crazy despite her desire to just stay inside where no one would see her… where no one would think her over reacting and call her out on it, and she needed to get out. Fortunately, the person she had wanted to initially talk to in hopes of distraction had a place of his own. At least there was that… at least she could get up and actually have something to do and maybe distract herself long enough to find a smile. But as she left her own apartment, following the directions he had written out for her quickly and taking that short trip, Kira came to realize he wasn’t even home when she arrived. Hope left her in a sigh as she knocked on the door for a third time, once having thought that maybe he was being antisocial and didn’t want to answer. However, if that was so, even he was ignoring her. The lump formed in her throat and she sat down dismally on the staircase of his apartment complex, her face hidden in her hands. What did she do now? Go home? That was the logical answer… but she didn’t want to. She wanted to talk to him, her Donatello… Da Vinci… Michelangelo, and if she had to wait around until he got home (or left his apartment) then she would. The stubborn lion lying somewhere in her heart wouldn’t let her leave. So she just remained, hiding herself from the world until she heard the door open and footsteps on the stairs. And only then would she chance a look up to see who it was… giving a nervous nod to other inhabitants as they came in from the cold. Looking up when one such occasion happened, a small hopeful look befell her features when she saw the familiar red hair. Finally. At least she could put her mind a bit at ease knowing he wasn’t ignoring her… knowing he hadn’t answered the door despite her knocking. A small smile curled to her lips, though her eyes were empty as she looked up to him, not moving to stand from the staircase. “You should really invest in a phone…” she said dumbly, her smile fading. word count: 1224    ||    tagged: Damien/Solar thank you april (myfairtardis)
^
damien vincent roth
 Posted: Jan 20 2014, 01:00 PM
Quote
172 POSTS
6'0"
N/A
22
Complicated
Straight
Solar IS Offline
Lock


Making his way down the crowded sidewalk, his lunch in tow, he kept his head ducked low as he kept to himself. It was only recently that he had finally broke down and somewhat committed to the norm of everyone around him. This winter was at it's hardest, and even in the years he had been here none of them had been like this. So he was thankful to have finally sucked it up and gotten his own apartment. It was nice to go somewhere warm that was his and his alone. What made it even better was the fact no one could find him unless he wanted them to. That, in itself, was golden.

But as time passed, he realized that he wasn't really making much of an effort to branch out and actually see anyone either. Far too content to just hide in the walls that were his. Hadn't went out to bother Barrel, or Shock. Ender was locked up in a hospital, and while he was worried about his friend, there was no way in fucking hell he was stepping foot into that metal tasting hell hole. Kira, well- when he actually went to venture out, he stopped there first, but she had been MIA the past couple times, her co-workers only shaking their head at him as he questioned where she'd been.

It made him worry, without even trying to hide the feelings. She was almost always there, he pretty much had her schedule down to a fine science. Even when her schedule changed, she left little clues for him. But these past couple times, he was completely left in the dark. Sighing, he watched the puff of air rise up to disappear in the sky above. He'd go try the diner again, after he stuffed his face with the Chinese he honestly invested in.

Making his way up the stairs, he ignored the passersby who felt the need to be friendly to him- he didn't need them. He was content on his own for now. Even the elderly lady who watched him from the crack in her door seemed to look at him with a little less hate today than normal. Wrinkling his nose at her he hissed, and in turn she gasped and shut the door quickly as he passed. He wasn't up for putting up with her shit right now.

There was something strange on his floor, and as he reached into his pocket to pull out the key-ring that had was entrusted to him for his own apartment, he cautiously made his appearance from the landing. He was expecting to see someone he didn't want to see there, ready to tell them off and that they needed to go bother someone else, when the pitiful site of Kira bunched up on the floor met his vision. Slowly he blinked, not sure how to take her weak voice and red, swollen eyes. She had been crying? Who was he going to beat to a pulp?

Shaking his head slowly, he reached up and lowered the hood from his head as one eyebrow raised in her direction. Slowly he made his way to her, squatting in front of her as he tilted his head to take more of her saddened features in, letting his take-out box thud on the floor. "What happened?" Letting her statement find it's own spot in the storing self of his mind, he went straight to the point. Why was she crying? Why was she, of all people, here? He was honestly surprised he remembered where he lived, only having told her once upon a time. Hesitantly, completely unsure of what to do in a moment like this, he reached a hand out and tucked some hair behind her ear. "Hey, KitKat," His personal nickname for her slipping past his lips as he took note in all the cat things she hold in her life, "Why are you trying to make your face match your hair?"

I’ve watched you slowly winding down
KIRA / 670 / HERE WE GO
♔ nickdiazfan

--------------------
user posted imageuser posted image
PMEmailAIM
^
kira felicity king
 Posted: Feb 11 2014, 01:47 PM
Quote
>
kira felicity king
N/A POSTS
IS N/A


None of us are angelsand you know I love you, yeahSomething deep inside of her had almost given up on the entire adventure, time having passed her by both in an agonizingly slow fashion and so tortuously fast she had no idea where the hours went. But even that something, a piece rooted in the very core of her being that wanted to give up, throw her hands in the air and pretend like she just didn’t care, couldn’t be bothered to stand. Maybe she was stupid to sit hopelessly on the landing right in front of his apartment, it was obvious that she was alone in her misery and he either wasn’t coming out or going home. But it was all she had now, and compared to the other emotions flowing through her veins like the blood that kept her alive, feeling stupid or naïve or pathetic was worlds better than where she had been—alone and depressed. Red eyes stared at the palms of her hands as she tried to wrap her mind around what had happened, what was happening. Yet, despite the effort she put into trying to figure it out all she drew were blanks. Hadn’t she done everything right? Sure, she wasn’t completely caught up with the social norms of living in New York, and more so dealing with people in more than a friendly way. But Kira liked to think that she was well versed enough to get by by the skin of her teeth, especially when everything seemed to be going so well. What had she done? Could Jude not even be bothered to tell her that? To rip her heart out in person and spell out every misdeed she had done to make him hate her? So that maybe, she could prevent this sort of mess from happening in the future, or even make amends? That would have been easier than sitting despairingly outside of her friend’s apartment, grasping at straws yet still coming back empty handed. Fresh tears had sprung to her eyes without her realizing, little splashes into her palms the only sign that something had changed or even happened. Her eyes burned slightly, raw from the rubbing and crying she had done—and yet she couldn’t stop. No matter how she willed herself, how she tried to force it back, it just kept coming back when she didn’t expect it. Sucking on her bottom lip, she wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, summoning the power lost somewhere in her to stop. It was only when she heard the door open and heard the footsteps ascending that she stopped long enough to hope that this person would be her Raphael. And when that familiar red hair caught her eye, for the first time in forever, she felt that maybe she would be okay. “I don’t want to talk about it.” she said dismissively, rubbing her eye a final time with the back of her hand. She wanted to make it off like she was fine, like this was just a small hiccup in her life, and she didn’t need his support or comfort. But the longer she looked up at him, watching as he squatted in front of her, the more she realized she couldn’t hide it. She was afraid, she was sad, she was hurt… and it was all coming up now. The gentle touch of his fingers against her skin as he tucked her hair behind her ear had her leaning her head into his hand. A slow, sharp breath entered her lungs and it stung, but it wasn’t worse than the burning of her eyes as new tears sprung to her eyes. Desperately she clung to her strength and built her weak defenses to keep them from falling, and luckily for her, in that moment she didn’t cry. “I just… I don’t want to talk about it anymore. I’m tired of it… I need a distraction.” she explained in almost a whisper, turning her glassy eyes to him as she tried to muster a small smile. It felt foreign against her lips, almost like it didn’t fit. And as slowly as it formed, it disappeared quickly to be replaced with a hollow look. She bit her bottom lip and shrugged her shoulders. “I didn’t know what to do… or where to go. I missed you…” she sighed, looking back to the palms of her hands. The answers she was looking for still weren’t there, but she wasn’t so upset by it this time. Talking with him, even if it was just a silly and empty conversation, was a good distraction. Shrugging her shoulders again, a noncommittal gesture, she tried a second time to muster a smile. “I hope you don’t mind.”word count: 789    ||    tagged: Damien/Solar thank you april (myfairtardis)
^
damien vincent roth
 Posted: Mar 2 2014, 04:58 PM
Quote
172 POSTS
6'0"
N/A
22
Complicated
Straight
Solar IS Offline
Lock


A strange feeling settled in his stomach as he watched her crumble against his hand. She looked terrible, and he wasn't sure what he would be able to do for her. She needed his help, but what good would he be able to do? He was just a jack ass who made things worse. He wasn't one to fix things. Furrowing his brows at her reply, he only huffed quietly through his nose. This was one of those girl things, wasn't it? Hadn't Ender told him something about this? Like they said one thing, but meant another? This was a trap.

"I can't really help you if I don't know what's going on. But I suppose you have some secret girl code that you have to abide to that I don't know about. Whatever, it's cool. Though I think I have some chocolate and ice cream inside. Girls like that stuff when they're upset, right?" Granted it was meant for him when he didn't want to eat real food. But she didn't need to know that.

Her attempted smile was hollow, forced, and it made him feel sick. Whatever happened to her had killed that bubbly spirit that he was so accustomed to her having. It made his other hand flex as he thought about the prick or bitch who had done this to her.

Despite what he would tell others, she was a little ray of sunshine that he sought out when he was too fed up with this world to even care anymore. When he felt the need to go on a rampage and start a riot, he found himself sitting in a booth playing the role of the grump as she giggled and tried to crack his shell. Well, now the tables were turned, and he found himself completely at a loss.

Sighing softly he pushed himself up to his feet, holding out a hand for her as he grasped his dinner in the other. "I can't really help you if you stay out in the hallway. Besides, I think the owner of this place frowns upon people lurking the hallways." He nodded towards the door behind her, the one she took to leaning against. "But you have to get up first. Unless you want me to carry you in? I suppose I can do that."

A smirk crossed his lips as he hoped his little taunt would get a more realistic smile to her lips. "So c'mon KitKat, before you end up crying so much you turn into a mummy."

I’ve watched you slowly winding down
KIRA / 428 / Kira bby ;s;
♔ nickdiazfan

--------------------
user posted imageuser posted image
PMEmailAIM
^
kira felicity king
 Posted: Mar 22 2014, 06:51 PM
Quote
>
kira felicity king
N/A POSTS
IS N/A


None of us are angelsand you know I love you, yeah As she watched him with sad eyes, fresh tears threatening to fall down her cheeks, she questioned herself on this decision. She had told herself she needed to get out, to distract her mind from the pain she felt, yet when she did all she seemed capable of doing was crying more. One question from her friend had crumbled her resolve and left her open like the gaping wound in her heart, bleeding and sensitive. She would have been better off in the privacy of her tiny apartment, curled up in her bed and listening to whatever music played on the radio. She would have been better off on her own, not ruining Damien’s day with something so silly and petty as this. Yet she couldn’t bring herself to get up. Normally she would have laughed at his assumption of some sort of girl code. She had heard about that when one of her work friends had gotten dumped. How he should have known that when she said one thing she meant another and that ‘do what you want’ was not some sort of invitation. But as she sat there, mulling over her lack of understanding in the code she apparently had to live by, she realized that maybe Damien was right and she was playing by this imaginary set of rules. She didn’t want to talk about Jude, about her feelings and how truly torn up she was about this. Not anymore at least. She had gotten her fill of that from girls at work and her friends, all of which tried to tell her she was too good for him. But as she sat on the stairs, swallowing the returning lump in her throat, she realized she wanted him to ask about. She wanted him to be interested in why his friend was hurting. Even if she truly, deep down, didn’t want to talk about it. And maybe even then she was just lying to herself… maybe she did want to talk to someone else about it. “Chocolate and ice cream? Seems like you’re prepared for times like this,” she said, trying to sound playful. Where she would normally giggle and potentially even wink, she just shrugged her shoulders and looked away. For the past couple of days she had started a relationship with Ben and Jerry… but it couldn’t fill the void no matter what flavor she tried. Still though, the thought was there and she had to give the ginger props. He didn’t seem like the nurturing type, and seeing this side of him was something she would later appreciate when she felt like herself again. Taking his hand that he offered to her, easing herself to her feet, she looked to the ginger with a weak smile. However, as she found her balance, the kind gesture of helping her to her feet was turned into a hug. Kira let go of his hand and wrapped her arms around his neck, head burying into the crook of his neck. She didn’t think he was the hugging type, she had never seen someone get that close to him before, her or anyone else, but she needed it. To feel the warmth of another human being and to know that there was still solid ground to stand on. Even if he wouldn’t return the gesture, if he would just push her away, it had been a comfort. “I’m sorry…. Please… just give me a minute,” she whispered, her voice quiet and solemnly tranquil. She didn’t know if this was pushing the boundaries of their friendship, but she had nothing left to lose. She just needed the comfort, and even though he wasn’t the best candidate at the time being to be her shoulder to lean on and her support, he was the one she had chosen.word count: 639    ||    tagged: Damien/Solar thank you april (myfairtardis)
^
damien vincent roth
 Posted: Apr 1 2014, 12:31 PM
Quote
172 POSTS
6'0"
N/A
22
Complicated
Straight
Solar IS Offline
Lock


Watching the shell of the girl before him made emotions bubble inside of him. Things he never really let brew for long periods of time for fear of becoming more human than he already was. He liked his mean demeanor, it kept him safe and there were too many people who crossed his path that he watched crumble from the weight of their human-based problems. He didn't want to be like Kira, letting something completely hollow him out as he sought out attention from someone else, but it was hard to think about himself when his brain was pointing violently in her direction. She needed him, and try as he might, he was going to try and be there for her.

Shrugging his shoulders he only let the comment roll off him. "How else do you think I keep a figure like this? Can't do it with that healthy shit." Her voice sounded hallow and he wanted to shake her. Place his hands upon her shoulders and shake her until something clicked within her and she was the ginger he knew and l-cared about.

He had to push the feelings down as he stood up, offering her his hand as he adjusted his food in the other. Part of the reason he was so eager to get her inside was to keep anyone from spying on the two of them- he had the worst neighbors at times. They didn't need to know that he could have feelings, that even though he always growled and hissed at them he could play the role of the nice guy at times.

But when her arms wrapped around his neck he was violently snapped from his inner thoughts as his food once again hit the floor.

Her face burrowed in his neck and he found himself choking on the lack of oxygen in his lungs. Standing rigid, he let her get situated while alarms blared off in his head. This wasn't right. This shouldn't be happening. What was she doing? Why was she hugging him? He didn't do anything, except help her up- he'd done more for her before and none of it warranted a hug, so why was she embracing him like this?

"I'm sorry..." Her words were muffled against his skin and he felt that something stir within him. The feeling was strange, and something inside of him reacted without his command.

Hesitantly his arms came up, hovering just above her shoulders before they wrapped around her. It was strange, embracing someone like this, but as he nuzzled his face in her hair he didn't quite care. Something inside of him was being fulfilled as he held her close, his attempt to shelter her from whatever the hell was bothering her.

For a moment it felt right, as if it were something he'd wanted for ages to come but was too stubborn to work on it, but as the warmth from her seeped into him, he felt as though he was being stupid all those times ago he craved another human's attention.

The sound of a door shutting made his head snap up, and in a swift motion he had his food in his hand and was unlocking the door with her still being held in his other arm before dragging her inside. Shutting the door quickly behind them, he let his keys fall to the floor as he hooked the bag to his doorknob, letting his arm fall from her shoulders as he pressed his back against the door frame, letting his head thump against the wood of the door. "Fucker...," he muttered under his breath as his eyes slid closed. Fucking buzz kill.

I’ve watched you slowly winding down
KIRA / 620 / CRYINGMYBBYHASEMOTIONS
♔ nickdiazfan


--------------------
user posted imageuser posted image
PMEmailAIM
^
kira felicity king
 Posted: Apr 30 2014, 10:40 PM
Quote
>
kira felicity king
N/A POSTS
IS N/A


None of us are angelsand you know I love you, yeahShe hadn’t meant to hug him for as long as she had, but something within her just couldn’t seem to let him go. Her grip around him was weak, but somehow it never faltered as she found a spot and nestled her face into it. This feeling, it was something so warm and simple, but she realized in this moment that she missed it. It was an everyday thing for her to throw her arms around someone and to bring them in for a hug. It was like a common greeting. But under the right circumstances it meant something else. A hug was more than a greeting; it was a joining of two people. It was a way to say hello, or a way to say goodbye. You could congratulate someone with a hug, or express condolences with one. You could hug a stranger or someone you knew intimately. It was more than just a simple action… and spoke louder than any words she had heard. And she had missed this particular type of hug. It wasn’t anything special. They were just friends. But the warmth she felt as he awkwardly wrapped his arms around her seemed to numb the pain that had taken over. Just the feeling of another person’s body so close to hers… the sound and feeling of another’s heartbeat reassuring was all she had wanted without realizing it. For so long she had locked herself away and wallowed in thinking she was defective. She had been alone in her room with only the company of Ben and Jerry to fill the void. Yet in a split second decision to see the guy she thought could distract her from the heartache, all the second guessing she did on herself and thoughts about being a defect enough weight to rival that she felt at losing Jude, she felt the first miniscule feeling of contentment wash over her. And all at once, it seemed hat blip on the radar turned out to be a grenade. Her hands curled tightly into fists in his shirt and she buried her face into the crook of his neck, hiding from the world around her. She remembered a time when hugging Jude close would make her feel this way… like she was important and deserved the comforting she so yearned for. She had tried to be strong in front of him, but there were times when Kovu would come to mind and she would seek solace in his company… yearning to feel connected to another person. She remembered how it felt to be in his arms… how they were strong as they held her small frame and she would take in his robust scent. And then she would remember how she wasn’t good enough… how she wasn’t even worth a break up text. She would remember the anguish she felt after sending each text, leaving each voicemail… and each one leaving her more and more broken down until she was this undistinguishable lump in Damien’s arms. She had come here searching for a distraction, and due to her own stupidity, only seemed to add to her misery. Fresh tears fell from her eyes, and the happenings of the world around her didn’t matter. She felt her world shift all of a sudden, her body being swept around, but she mistook it for the fabric of reality crumbling beneath her and wanting to swallow her whole. Her world was slowly shattering into pieces… and maybe this was just the final straw. The explosion that brought it all down to the ground in ruin. But the warmth of the hug disappeared and she was left clinging to a body that didn’t return her hug. For a second time by a third person she felt obsolete. Like her thoughts were confirmed that she wasn’t good enough or worthy of any sort of affection. She was broken goods, damaged and in need of repair. But what did it matter now? It wasn’t like she could be fixed… and if she could it would be far to long to go back to how things were. Silently she stood in the ginger’s apartment, her arms wrapping around herself to return the hug she had prematurely been ejected from. Blue eyes stared, devoid of emotion save for the tears that had long since fallen. Shaking her head, she offered a broken but meek smile and a shrug. Slowly she moved from the spot she had been deposited in, and took a step further into the apartment—seeing but not really taking in where she was. A nervous, empty laugh escaped as he banged his head against the door, and she turned back to him to give a hollow smile. “I shouldn’t have come… I’m sorry for bothering you. So stupid of me.” she tried to be light and humorous like she normally was around him, but her words were heavy with an unspoken burden. “Silly me, thinking that someone wouldn’t see me as worthless,” she stated bitterly with a dark laugh as she wiped her eyes as fresh tears surfaced. She wanted to go, to shuffle past him and forget this incident even happened, but she remained root in her spot wiping at her face in hopes that maybe she would stop crying. "Who was I kidding..."word count: 883    ||    tagged: Damien/Solar thank you april (myfairtardis)
^
damien vincent roth
 Posted: May 1 2014, 01:52 AM
Quote
172 POSTS
6'0"
N/A
22
Complicated
Straight
Solar IS Offline
Lock


It felt odd, for a split second, actually hugging someone. He'd seen it happen more times than he had fingers and toes, but he'd never actually partook in the interaction. There'd been plenty of people who had said a hug would make him feel better. Would "turn that frown upside down." He use to scoff, roll his eyes and walk off leaving them with a disheartened look upon their face. Though, now that he was actually in a hug, he wasn't so sure he had the right idea on it. Maybe he just never thought to try it with the right person before.

The closer she got, the more he didn't want her to go away. Like she was filling a void he didn't know he had. It was one thing to go to her because he was bored, but it was another thing entirely to want to just be with her. Though as he spent more time with her, he couldn't help but experience that feeling more and more. So as he hands dug into her shirt, he couldn't help the reaction that caused him to nuzzle his cheek against her head.

For the first time since, ever, he felt the need to protection. Not his self for once, but to protect someone that he held close to him from whatever was harming them.

There was a voice in the back of his mind that yelled at him. That wanted to know what in the actual fuck he was doing, but that feeling- still strange to him, refused to give into that voice. He didn't want to give into the voice. He wanted to hold her until there was nothing left to hold anymore.

All that was shoved out of sight as the sound of a door knocked his senses back into gear, and as he grabbed her and the food, pulling them both inside- he wasn't ready for the sudden attack on his emotions that was awaiting him.

There was a damp spot on his neck as he leaned against the door, completely unaware of what his actions caused. It wasn't until he lowered his gaze that he fully caught sight of what was standing there before him. A tightness caught in his chest as he watched with his own eyes the break that happened in the girl before him. He could see she tried to shake it off, but it was emotionless. Nothing like what he had just felt seconds ago. Her words, completely void of any personality that usually flowed when she parted her lips, stabbed him with each syllable.

A sudden fire burned in his chest as he pushed himself from the door. His long legs reaching her in a matter of milliseconds as his hands reached out and gripped her shoulders, turning her towards him. Staring down at her, he pulled a hand back to lift her hand, fingers resting under her chin. "I don't know what the hell happened, but don't you ever think you're being a bother to me. I swear to whatever these people put their fucking faith in if I ever hear you say you're worthless again, I will go on a rampage." Maybe they weren't the proper words to say, but he had no fucking idea what he was doing. He was going by impulse. By an instinct that he didn't know he had.

Sighing softly, he closed his eyes as he brought a hand up to run his thumbs under her eyes. He really didn't know what he was doing, he just knew he didn't want to see her like this anymore. Forcing his eyes opened, he leaned down and pressed his forehead against hers as he wrapped his arms around her again, pulling her closer. She seemed fine when they were in the hallway, lost in their hug. Maybe... maybe if he tried it again she wouldn't cry. "I don't want you to cry anymore.," he whispered against her cheek before he placed a small kiss to her forehead before resting his cheek to the top of her head.

I’ve watched you slowly winding down
KIRA / 688 / I AM NOT SORRY FOR THIS
♔ nickdiazfan

--------------------
user posted imageuser posted image
PMEmailAIM
^
kira felicity king
 Posted: May 9 2014, 09:57 PM
Quote
>
kira felicity king
N/A POSTS
IS N/A


None of us are angelsand you know I love you, yeahShe felt so small in that instant, so tiny and insignificant. Slowly, and painfully so, she was withering away by the storm of sadness that had taken over. Like a rough rock in a stream her edges were being worn and soon enough there would be nothing left. Her body would be there, an empty shell, but the very root of who she was would be gone, snuffed out by the cruel hand of unrequited love… not only once… but twice. There was no coming back from it now… no going back to the way things were and letting the gaping wound in her chest heal. There was no healing a broken heart… just putting a bandage over it and hoping that the pain would eventually ebb away into numbness. Left open and vulnerable in that moment she felt herself shrinking in the apartment, the open air a cool and bitter reminder of the loneliness she felt. The love she had shown her friend, a desperate attempt to feel some semblance of happiness or closeness to a human being she trusted, had been denied. Though, that was no one’s fault but her own, and this downward spiral was a self-inflicted punishment however unintentional it might have been. She had come to the one person she knew she could trust to distract her from the throbbing pain, to help her find the person she once was through the rubble and destruction that had become of her, but when he acted as only she knew Damien to act, the pain and hurt reverberated through her and only made the entire situation worse. Who was she kidding? Thinking that someone could love her, could care for her. Sure, she had her so-called friends whose only words of advice were that she could do better and he was an ass, but what support did she really have to lean on? The only people other than her family who she didn’t want to burden, the people she cared and trusted most had literally turned their back on her. Be it in the form of an attempted murder… even after she pleaded and begged him to just leave with her, or be it in the form of pure and painful abandonment, it had been made clear to her that true friendship and love was impossible for her to have. Her heart was large, caring for far too many people including strangers on the street. But the same could not be reciprocated it seemed. The world was a cold, bitter place. She was an unloved soul who wanted nothing more than for the affection she gave to the world to find its way back to her in her rare times of need. But karma was fickle… and she was left in a cold apartment with yet another person who couldn’t find it in them to save her broken soul. Kira felt her knees shaking and the lump in her throat returned despite every attempt to force it away. It shouldn’t surprise her by now; fool me once shame on you but fool me twice shame on me. This was her own doing… thinking that the world wasn’t as cruel as it actually was. Quickly her hands lifted to cover her face, to hide the tears that had broken through the crumbled defenses and burning hot lines down her rosy cheeks. She just wanted to disappear, to leave this moment and forgo the pain of Damien’s assurance that her thoughts were true, to fade into the fabric of reality and never return. But it was all she could do to just hide her face and cry silently into her hands. Worthless… stupid… it was all she was. What happened next caught her off guard though, and the ragged breath caught in her throat—stuck somewhere between a hiccup and a desperate gasp for breath—escaped in a surprised squeak. Doe-like eyes peered up at the ginger in front of her, his fingers under her chin urging her to look at him, and all she could do was stare. Confusion clouded her vision and she clung to his words almost desperately, hesitant at first to accept them as truth, but too weak in that moment to let them pass her up. They were harsh and crude, definitely not put together by a word smith of any kind… but they were genuine and honest. She felt a sting of pain in her chest… and the tears in her eyes only welled up again, threatening to fall before flowing freely. She should have been happy to hear him to protective of her, to hear that he didn’t think her worthless, but her mind didn’t register it that way. The thought was bittersweet, and all she could do was focus on the harsh flavor on her tongue rather than the sweetness that could have soothed her ruffled feathers. It was possible for someone to care for her, so it seemed, for someone to see the good in her and want to preserve that light. Then… why couldn’t Jude or Kovu for that matter find it in them to see that? What was so wrong with her, so defective about her, that they couldn’t love her… or even respect her? What had she done... She soft whimper escaped her lips as she felt his lips press against her forehead, and the ache in her heart only intensified. Her eyes closed and more tears flooded down her cheeks as she quivered in the embrace. “If I’m not so worthless then why do I feel that way? Why do the people I care about hate me so much?” she cried, swallowing roughly. “What is so wrong with me… what did I do?” Her voice was soft and half choked, but somehow she found the strength and words to speak. Though even that was dissolving under the rough waters that were threatening to pull her under. “What is so wrong with me…”word count: 996    ||    tagged: Damien/Solar thank you april (myfairtardis)
^
damien vincent roth
 Posted: May 28 2014, 12:30 AM
Quote
172 POSTS
6'0"
N/A
22
Complicated
Straight
Solar IS Offline
Lock


Everything about this seemed off. Seemed completely wrong to him as he held the broken girl close. This was nothing like the ginger he'd came to know, and somehow love. If it was even possible for someone with such a black and shriveled heart to feel an emotion such as love. It scared him, honestly, as he held her close in his arms. Was that the protective feeling that was rushing over him like a heavy rain? Or was it the butterflies in his chest with how close she was- that she actually sought him out in an attempt to make herself feel better. Or was he just being stupid and over thinking this entire ordeal?

He was confused. Troubled. But Kira's needs were more important than his own.

There was an attempt to soothe her with a gentle 'shh,' but it seemed she couldn't hear it over her tears. They were hot against his chest as she cried into his shirt, and while she was radiating heat, he felt cold. As if someone was drowning him in ice water. He didn't want her to cry anymore. Didn't want to hear the painful sobs that broke through her fair lips to deafen his ears. She wasn't suppose to be like this. Broken and so unlike herself.

What was he suppose to do to make it better for her? He was at a loss, completely caught off guard to even possibly think of something to do. Ender never mentioned a thing about it, and it wasn't like his siblings would help him either. They would just laugh at him and call him a pansy. That's what he would do if the tables were turned. The only person he could think of that would even be of any remote help, would be Itzel- but hell if he knew how to get a hold of her. Especially in a time like this.

So in an attempt to make it better, he'd kissed her forehead and swore to rip whoever's head had caused this off their shoulders. It was the least he could to in a short noticed attempt. Maybe if he had some time to prepare for this, then he'd be more suited to take on the sudden down pour of tears to his friend's eyes.

For a split second, he thought he'd gotten through to her. That the promise of violence had been all she needed to hear without him having to go into detail about how he wanted to ring their neck and through them into a bubbling pot of acid. But it seemed it only made her feel worse, and as he quietly groaned, he took to wiping her eyes and cheeks down with the sleeve of his shirt, shaking his head as she attempted to speak. "You shouldn't feel that way. Because you deserve better than those that you're apparently letting yourself be around." Furrowing his brows, he pressed his forehead against hers once again, hands resting upon her cheeks.

"You're better than this, and you know it. There is no reason for you to be thinking about yourself like that. You're being worse than those ridiculous chick flick movies on the picture box." Taking a drastic move, he lifted her in his arms before carrying her to the couch, thankful that it was only a few steps away and that the ginger in his arms was light enough for him to do this to. Sitting down beside her, he pulled her into his lap and held her there, refusing to let her move from the shield his arms were attempting to make.

He had no idea where any of this was coming from, his actions feeling almost alien to him as he took to stroking her hair gently. He'd found it relaxing when he'd finally broken down and let her play with his hair, and he could only hope that the same gesture could work on her. If it didn't, he would surely be at a complete loss of what to do, because as he thought it over and over, he had no fucking idea what he was clearly doing.

I’ve watched you slowly winding down
KIRA / 698 / I FEEL SO BAD FOR HIM
♔ nickdiazfan

--------------------
user posted imageuser posted image
PMEmailAIM
^
kira felicity king
 Posted: Jul 16 2014, 07:19 PM
Quote
>
kira felicity king
N/A POSTS
IS N/A


None of us are angelsand you know I love you, yeah She heard him speak, the sound of his voice soothing over her skin as his hand gently stroked her hair, but his words were lost to her. His voice was calming, reassuring, even if it was critical and reprimanding her for sounding like a chick flick. But the message fell upon deaf ears. She relished in the way it make her skin tingle, how her mind was suddenly numb from such simple gestures like holding her and petting her hair, but all too quickly would the ache in her chest remind her why she was here. And the tears would continue forming in her eyes, falling down her cheeks, and it was all she could do to bury her face in the crook of his neck, body trembling uncontrollably. She didn’t want to be told that she deserved better than those she surrounded herself with. She didn’t want to hear that she was a better person than to let such silly thoughts control her mind. She had already heard that song before, had danced that dance with her girl friends who she had first turned to for support. And they were helpful and reassuring her and lifting her spirits. If she deserved better, than why did she only get hurt and heart break? If she was such a strong person, so much better than to cry and demean herself, why was she in his arms thinking she was the scum of the Earth? It was obvious that there was some unseen and unheard entity that dictated how life was going to be… who was deserving and who was strong, and while she could put up a brave front—smile and bear it—she was neither of those things. And that was what she wanted to hear. That there was a reason she was in as much pain as she was, that there was indeed something wrong with her, because it wasn’t just dumb luck that she found the two people in both realms who had the ability to not only capture her heart, but break it so completely. Damien was supposed to be that person. That one singular person who could put her in her place. She was rude and selfish and thought only about himself. He didn’t spare people’s feelings or sugar coat the cold and brutal truth. In all her time of knowing him, though admittedly she didn’t even know if she could say she knew him for she hardly had a clue who he was, he had never spared her feelings. And she had come here depending on that, relying on that brash and truthful nature to put her in her place and tell her what was what, that up was still up and that the world was still turning even though she had sworn it had crumbled beneath her feet. She wanted a wake up call, for him to slap her figuratively across the face and tell her that it was coincidence she was hurting, that it was her fault, and she needed to fix the problem. She wanted him to tell her it was her… that everything that happened, the pain and the agony she felt, was because she had done something. Because otherwise, that would mean this pain was out of her control, and there was nothing to fix. That would mean that she would have to suffer, have to agonize through the torture without rhyme or reason… and just wait for this wound to heal. If it wasn’t her fault, then there was nothing she could do… and all she wanted was to fix what was broken and bleeding in her chest. Pulling her head from his neck, her hands having balled into fists around the cloth of his shirt sometime during her breakdown, she looked up to him with doe-like eyes… raw and puffy, threatening to overflow with tears if the wrong thing was said. She felt her throat grow tight with that imaginary lump, and she knew if she opened her mouth, if she spoke, that the resolve she was barely piecing together would shamble and break once again. Her lower lip quivered and she tried with all her might to stop it, dear god did she not want to cry again—cry more—but it was all she knew to do in that moment, as her mind ran with so many thoughts that she couldn’t keep hold of a single one for long. “If its not me…” she mumbled, unballing a shaking hand from his shirt and pressing it flat against his chest, “then there is nothing I can do.” she whimpered, losing what little control she had latched on to. “If it’s not my fault… then there is nothing I can fix… and this pain will never go away.” her jaw clenched tight after that, her lips sealed to keep a whimper from escaping, but a single and silent tear escaped and betrayed her. All she could do was look up at him, her eyes so full of pain and confusion, and silently beg for the answer she wanted to hear. “I don’t want to feel this way anymore… make it stop. Make it go away.”word count: 867    ||    tagged: Damien/Solar thank you april (myfairtardis)
^
damien vincent roth
 Posted: Nov 16 2014, 10:59 PM
Quote
172 POSTS
6'0"
N/A
22
Complicated
Straight
Solar IS Offline
Lock


The longer she stayed in his arms, the harder it was for him to think properly. It bothered him to no end, but he tried to push those thoughts away to keep his aura from working on her already torn edges. He didn't need to snap on her and cause her to lose her head more than what she already had. It was hard for him though. This was new for him. He didn't know what to do to make her feel better. Didn't know what to do or say to make the hot tears stop streaming from her face. If petting her hair and telling her it wasn't her fault wasn't going to work, then how was he suppose to make it better?

Closing his eyes, he let his head fall back onto the couch as he tried his hardest to keep himself in line. She seemed to much weaker than he'd known her to be. So defenseless and lacking that sass that he was use to. He didn't like it. He especially didn't like how lost she was making him feel.

He could feel the air around them crackling, and as he gritted his teeth to keep everything in line, he felt her shift in his grasp. Her words vibrated against his chest and it caused his eyes to snap open, making him raise his head once again. Her hand against his chest cause his heart to skip a beat, and it only frustrated him more. Her words hurt him, and he couldn't help the aggravation that boiled up inside of him as she spoke.

"Well what the fuck am I suppose to do?"

The words made him feel better, even as his heart tightened in his chest. "I don't know a damn thing about making any of this better. I tried being honest, and apparently that didn't work. I don't watch enough sappy movies to know what the fuck is suppose to make you stop crying. If you don't want it to be your fault, then why not think up a reason for it to be your fault?" His nose was wrinkled in a slight snarl as he continued on.

"Why are you depending on others to make you feel better when you don't even know what the fuck is wrong? Or do you know and you're just choosing to keep that little piece of information hidden to the rest of us? I mean..... FUCK." He inhaled deeply as he felt his aura swirl about him, a hand coming up to pinch the bridge of his nose in attempt to ease the headache that was fast approaching. Fucking seriously though. "Look," he started through a long exhale. "I didn't have plans on trying to fix anybody. I just went to get some fucking Chinese and watch some horror flicks. So please. Just tell me. Anything. That I can do to make you fucking feel better because I'm so fucking confused I don't feel like my fucking self."

His chest was heaving a bit as he let himself vent, not sure if he had made the right decision on his part, but right now, there wasn't anything else he could do. What was said, well- it was said. He couldn't take those words back, and he could only hope that him being somewhat himself would help stabilize her. Or at least his aura would help her break free of the sadness that was clutching so tightly to her. Allow her to vent in a manner that could possibly make her feel better.

I’ve watched you slowly winding down
KIRA / 599 / I HOPE IT'S OK
♔ nickdiazfan


--------------------
user posted imageuser posted image
PMEmailAIM
^
kira felicity king
 Posted: Nov 17 2014, 12:17 AM
Quote
>
kira felicity king
N/A POSTS
IS N/A


None of us are angelsand you know I love you, yeah Where she had once felt warmth in his embrace, comfort in the hold he had on her, protection in the way his arms wrapped around her form... all she felt was emptiness. The hot sting of betrayal scorched her, and what she had once thought she needed, she was repulsed by. There was no concern anymore, no feeling of a sympathetic friend, the support she had sought when she left her apartment, the person to keep feet on the ground and not let her continue spiraling into a pit of despair. What could she expect though? She had walked willingly into the devil’s den and expected him to balm her broken heart. So naïve. So pathetic. She should have known better than to trust someone who, now that she was seeing clearly, no longer blinded by the cloud of false friendship he had been exuding, was a certifiable ass hat. He was nice to no one… why did she think he’d treat her any different? Pathetic. Naïve. Dumb. Stupid. Like touching a hot griddle, her knee jerk reaction to him was to get away as fast and as far as her small body could. She had just relished in the comfort he provided, how easy it was to get lost in the embrace and how soothing it was to just listen to his heartbeat. She hadn’t realized how much she had needed it, how much she had wanted it, the touch of a human in such an innocent but intimate way. She had let her guard down, had let him see her vulnerable, she had trusted him. And all he could do was throw his arms up in defeat and say what he no doubt wanted to say all along but was holding back for who knew how long. She was just a wretched, pitiful obstacle that came up between him and his precious Chinese food, and she was just too stupid to see it. They weren’t friends. They never were friends. Blue eyes widened as she fumbled to get to her feet, her arms pushing against his chest and trying desperately to get away. She couldn’t sit there any longer, stand there knowing that he was repulsed by her very presence in his apartment. But most of all, she couldn’t be so close to yet another failure of hers. Another perfectly pristine reason, an example wrapped so exquisitely that she dared not open it, of how no one could love her. She had thought that it was just in a romantic sense, that Kovu and Jude were failures because she had done something wrong as a girlfriend to make them no longer wish to be around her. But in a blazing hot, painfully burning glory sat Damien… a beacon—a testament to how terrible of a person she must be. For a long moment she stood across from him, pain evident in the tears that continuously fell from her eyes. She didn’t want to believe it, couldn’t bear to accept it, yet she had no choice. The lump in her throat swelled and she barely found herself breathing as she rode the waves of shock to the shore of disbelief. And slowly the boiling waters sank in, leaving her skin feeling hot and her face turning red. Her head shook, a last ditch effort to expel this lie from her mind, her eyes frantic with worry and fear. But as slowed, her head bowed and a curtain of red hair hiding her from the world around her, the pain shifted. Her insides had been rubbed raw from days of crying and over analyzing. She was emotionally spent and couldn’t handle it. She wanted to cry, to mourn the death of what she thought to be a good friendship, but all she heard was his crude voice haunting the recesses of her mind like a vengeful spirit. “We never were friends were we… you never saw me as anything more than a free meal ticket did you? Thought that I was nice enough that you could just walk all over me and not give a damn,” she whispered, the curse foreign and bitter on her tongue. She had never felt a need for foul language, yet now, throwing caution to the wind it seemed appropriate. Looking up from behind her protective curtain, she fixed a dead-eyed glare at him. Her spirit was crushed… her hope fading with each breath she took… she had never felt so empty before. “You don’t feel like yourself?” she laughed bitterly, “I haven’t felt like myself since the li…” the words caught in her throat, almost like she was afraid to admit it out loud, “since the man I loved tried to kill me.” her words were shaking, tears threatening to fall. “I’m sorry that this is so inconvenient for you… that someone else’s pain has come to rain on your parade. Though I guess I should be thanking you instead.” her words grew dark and for a moment an easy laugh escaped. “At least now I know for sure that it’s me… that there is something wrong with me. So thank you, from the very bottom of my broken and bleeding heart, thank you for showing me the light.” It took all the strength she could muster to move from the spot she had been rooted in, her lion heart only able to get her so far, but slowly she moved to the door. As much as she wanted to break down and fall to her knees in grief, to let her debilitating emotions take over and crumble her resolve, she was defiant. She would show him no more weakness. “Enjoy your horror and Chinese.” she choked out, shaking hand twisting the knob and opening the door. “Oh… and don’t come back to the diner.” And with one final smile, she stepped out into the hall, determined to leave with her head held high, despite the quivering of her shoulders. She deserved to keep some dignity.word count: 1004    ||    tagged: Damien/Solar thank you april (myfairtardis)
^
damien vincent roth
 Posted: Nov 17 2014, 12:55 AM
Quote
172 POSTS
6'0"
N/A
22
Complicated
Straight
Solar IS Offline
Lock


Eyes widened in fear as he watch everything unfold in slow motion before him. The words he spoke still burning on his tongue as he felt the jagged pain of her pushing herself from his lap. She looked so hurt, even more so than when she first came in. Every breath he took hurt. Like he was breathing in a cold winter's breeze. As if his lungs were full of ice and nothing he did could melt the chill that was seeping through his being.

His arms tried to reach out and hold onto her. To keep her in his lap so he could take back everything that he said; but he knew it was too late. That because of his stupidity, he was going to lose someone far too close to him.

Pressing his hands to the cushions of his couch, he froze on the spot as she exploded. The fear that once shone in her blue eyes burning with a fire he'd never seen in the Ginger before him. Even when she was dicked over at work, she never held that sort of fire. That spark that burnt him worse than the acid he and his siblings use to mess around with.

"We were never friends."
"I was just a free meal ticket?"

Each statement was another stake in his heart as he watched her pale face grow redder and redder. He had been selfish. Stupid. He didn't know what to do, and it obviously showed on his face. As if the warmth of the small apartment had been sucked away, he felt the sudden pull of his aura as it started to wrap it's wicked caress around her small frame. Felt the chill of it draining his anger and irritation and feeding it to her. Fueling what he could only imagine was her own pent up feelings.

Just as it all seemed to speed up, he got to watch her slam the door behind her figure, leaving him speechless on his spot on the couch. Breathing heavily, he clutched tightly at his chest, just over where his heart was hidden, as he felt something stinging his eyes. The actual fuck was going on?

Cold eyes stared at the door that seemed to stretch miles before him. Breathing hurt. Thinking hurt. Feeling hurt. He hated it. Hated how it made his head hurt as he tried to mull through what he once thought was his own being, only to be knocked on his ass as he stared up at the ever growing wall of humanity that was growing within him.

"Don't come back to the diner."

Her words echoed in his ears as the tingling sensation of realization made it's way through him. Eyes narrowing, he pushed himself from his spot on the couch, his boot cladded foot coming to slam against the butchered coffee table he'd thrifted from an alley. The sound of shattering glass and cracking wood fueled the simmering coals that were now laying dormant inside of him as he took off towards the door, his mind made up and his next action planted in stone.

Leaning out from the doorway, he saw her; just before the stairs. Leaving his door hanging open, his long strides took no time in reaching her as he hand shot out and grabbed her by the shoulder. Pulling back he spun her on her feet, and with his other hand grabbed a handful of her hair before he forcefully pulled her towards him. In a swift motion he claimed her lips in his, he eyes squeezing tight as the feeling in his heart grew tenfold while his other arm found a spot to rest upon her lower back.

Swallowing his evident fear, he pulled back, eyes still shut as the sting at the corners sparked that same fear in him. Keeping his fingers tangled in her ginger hair, he slowly pulled his other hand from her lower back to rest upon her cheek. "You stupid girl," he whispered against her lips. "You're more than a free meal. You're more than a friend to me." Resting his forehead against hers, he slowly opened his eyes to take in her face. That face that he'd came to love. The button-like nose upon her face and the freckles that speckled her cheeks. "How many times did I come in and tell you no, that I didn't want food? How many times did I shove my plate back at you and let you eat most of it when I knew you hadn't had a break in hours. I came back for you. Not the food. Not for the shelter."

Lowering his gaze, he sighed heavily as his eyes clenched shut once more. A weak attempt to hold back the tears he felt trying to break free. "I don't really know what happened with you in the past. And honestly, I'm not too concerned with that like some people probably should be. I just care about what I know now. What I've learned over the time I've got to spend with you. And if you want to throw that all away because I'm stupid and completely clueless on everything around me, then I don't know what to tell you." Opening his eyes, he stared into hers as he spoke his next string of words.

"But if you are, then you better pray that I don't wake up."

I’ve watched you slowly winding down
KIRA / 915 /
♔ nickdiazfan

--------------------
user posted imageuser posted image
PMEmailAIM
^
kira felicity king
 Posted: Jan 15 2015, 11:34 PM
Quote
>
kira felicity king
N/A POSTS
IS N/A


None of us are angelsand you know I love you, yeah Nothing in her life was going right. It seemed that from the moment she was born, each step she took into the world around her, all she could manage to do was roll into trouble. At first she had thought it was her young and naïve mind leading her blindly into situations she knew nothing about. That it was an accident and everything would be better if only she apologized and tried to learn from her mistakes. However, as she grew older it only seemed to grow more and more, and now she was certain it wasn’t something she would eventually grow out of. Bad luck, trouble, complicated situations—they were written in her DNA. Her life wasn’t meant to be easy or happy, just a long string of messed up events that would form some semblance of a picture of life. All the good she thought she had in her life was just an illusion, something her mind made up to make her think that every bump along the road wasn’t what it truly was… And in this moment, Kira was finally able to see her life for exactly what it was. The door slamming behind her made her jump, her tear filled eyes casting a look over her shoulder in a guilty fashion, trying to see if anyone had heard or if anyone was coming. She wanted so much to cling to the anger she felt in her chest about the entirety of there supposed friendship. She wanted to wrap her fingers around it and strangle it with a white knuckled grip until she felt some sort of emotional release. But as much as she wanted to hold on to that rage, that she wanted to steam for as long as she could, if only for the reason to feel something other than the emptiness she had been lately, she couldn’t. As soon as the door had slammed behind her, the weight of her words crashed on her shoulders like falling bricks. Her breath caught in her throat as new sobs threatened to take over her. She wanted so much to be angry with Damien for lying to her, but he meant more to her than she even could have realized. The door of their friendship had closed, and painfully loud. Had she stayed in his apartment and shouted until she was blue in the face, there was a chance that maybe she could have picked up the broken pieces of their friendship and put them back into something recognizable. But instead of venting, instead of letting it all out and keeping her head held high in his presence, she turned tail and ran in hopes she could scrape up the last of her dignity. She slammed the door shut, she left everything that could have been saved in pieces on his floor, and the moment it happened she regretted it. In a matter of days she not only lost someone who had started to heal her wounded heart, someone she cared deeply for, but she lost a close and dear friend. Everything she had spouted off about them not being friends, about him just taking advantage of her and her kindness was all a lie. He had poked and stirred something in her that riled her up and sent her rage boiling over. She was hot headed and said things she wished she could take back. Deep down she knew Damien wasn’t the person she made him out to be… deep down she knew he was a close friend—which was exactly why she had showed up in the first place. Losing him along with Jude? She didn’t know if she could recover from a wound like that. She didn’t know who she could even go to now to pick up those pieces. For a long moment her body lingered, half hoping the ginger would chase after her, if only to yell at her like she had him. At least then the door would be open again and there was a chance they could recover. But the moment passed and his door remained closed. He was gone… and she didn’t know if she’d ever see him again. She felt her body grow heavy with sadness and her tears slipped freely from her eyes. There was no longer a reason to hide the pain she was in, to pretend that everything was okay… because it wasn’t. If only she could gather up just an ounce of anger to get her through her walk home… but even if she could stomp off it would all just be a lie. The sound of the door opening was lost to her, all of her concentration spent urging her body to move forward. Just one foot in front of the other. It was easy… but almost too difficult to put into words. It was only when she felt a hand on her shoulder spinning her around that she realized the door had been re-opened, that Damien wanted the chance to rebuild that bridge she stupidly burned. But the feeling of his fingers tangling in her hair and pulling her forward left her gasping, leaving her breathless as he pulled her into a rough kiss. Her blue, teary eyes widened at the suddenness of the action, at how out of the blue it was, but before he could pull away her mind settled and she accepted his lips, returning the gesture in al almost heartbreaking fashion. Her heart filled with guilt from the action, weighing on her chest as he pulled away, his eyes remaining closed. Her blue eyes searched his face for answers, but all that she could hear in her mind was how terrible of a person she was for accepting the kiss. She had just lost Jude… she shouldn’t move on. Now who was the one leading him on… the one taking advantage of him. “I-I… D-Damien...” she choked out, her voice soft and raspy almost. But before she could continue he started to speak. Her lower lip quivered as she let herself get interrupted, as she let him talk. And with each word she felt her heart ripping in two—torn completely in different directions. So much did she want to tell him that she couldn’t do this, that she had just lost Jude and the wound was fresh. It wasn’t fair for either of them. But at the same time, all she wanted was to cry and accept his words, the laugh and kiss him again and feel what it felt like to be loved. Slowly a shaking hand lifted from her side, gently moving to rest overtop the one on her cheek. A sad smile curled to her lips as fresh tears formed in her eyes and rolled down her rosy cheeks. A chaste laugh escaped and she shook her head slightly, not wanting to change a fraction of an inch the way they were. “You’re not the stupid on Damien…” she whispered, her eyes closing as she rested her forehead against his. Her shoulders shook with quiet sobs, and her other hand lifted to his arm, fingers curling around the material of his shirt. “I’m sorry… I’m sad and vulnerable and stupid and I said things I shouldn’t have. I’m sorry.” she cried, her grip growing tighter on his shirt sleeve. Chewing on the inside of her cheek, her mind reeling, her body moved on it’s own. Standing on the tips of her toes she placed a gentle kiss on his lips, almost afraid that if she did anything more he would break away and leave her there stranded in the hall. “I can’t throw this away… I’m sorry I even tried.”word count: 1287    ||    tagged: Damien/Solar thank you april (myfairtardis)
^
0 User(s) are reading this topic (0 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
0 Members:

Topic Options
Add Reply
New Topic
New Poll


 


 

Latest Shouts In The Shoutbox -- View The Shoutbox · Rules Collapse  


BAD ❤ ROMANCE Happily Ever AftersVisionary TalesImage and video hosting by TinyPic
FUSIONS Lochland Groveanimation personified potterverse
ARMADA!HAKUNA MATATA
SutemenyOnce Upon A RoleplayTales of UnityHERE'S TO THE ZEROS


SKINNED BY HANNAH OF SHINE.