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 i can't escape this now, tag: solar/lola
eila tegwen llyr
 Posted: Oct 27 2013, 08:23 PM
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eila tegwen llyr
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.aa { text-align:justify; line-height:100%; width: 400px; height:300px; font-family: trebuchet ms; color: transparent; font-size: 10px; opacity:0; -moz-transition:all .8s ease-in-out; -webkit-transition:all .8s ease-in-out;}.aa:hover { text-align:justify; line-height:100%; background-color:000000; opacity:.8; width:400px; height:300px; font-family: trebuchet ms; color: #7FCBFD; font-size: 10px; opacity:.8; -moz-transition:all .8s ease-in-out; -webkit-transition:all .8s ease-in-out; }.aa a:link, .aa a:visited, .aa a:active { font-family:trebuchet ms; font-size:10px; line-height:100%; color: 7FCBFD; }.aa a:hover { line-height:100%; font-family:trebuchet ms; font-size:10px; color:#060895; -webkit-transition: all 0.6s ease-in-out; -moz-transition: all 0.6s ease-in-out; }.bb { text-align:center; font-family: 'Euphoria Script', cursive; color: #7FCBFD; font-size: 36px; opacity:1; line-height:100%; }to solar from lauraWORDS: 1025CLOTHES: hereNOTES: None of this is my fault.unless you show me howIt was lucky that Astrid had gotten to the portal when she did, or maybe that Eila's errands had needed a detour to the real world and taken more time than anticipated, like something knew she needed to stay. Something knew her world would once again be rattled to its core and shake her bones, and it would be better to be in the city than anywhere off on the other side of the portal. Everything was cold ever since Astrid had found her, like a winter rain, not cold enough to freeze the water itself but enough to chill all the way through. The sight of Astrid there had immediately set her wondering if something was wrong-- she knew as well as anyone that Astrid didn't like to be there. It was a wonder really that she hadn't been sick when words came out and let her know her wonders were right. As far as Astrid knew, he'd been hurt badly, a monster-- Eila wasn't sure if she said what exactly. In all honesty, although she was trying hard to listen as they hurried to whatever hospital it was they'd taken him to, her head was a whirl of fears and outcomes. Mostly fear. She was finally starting to regularly get up in the morning and not think about what her mother would have wanted her to do that day. If she lost Thomas now, she didn't want to think about that blow. It may have just been enough to take her with him.She hated hospitals. They didn't feel. They were too white, too blank, too logical and mechanical and not at all human. Eila didn't agree with taking the feeling out of medical attention. It wasn't a place to get better. It was simply a place where they supposedly did their best to not let you die. Her stomach churned while her eyes darted around the hallways. It was a maze full of sickness. They'd hidden him away from her, whisked him off to another little room full of things with names they could hardly remember (let alone pronounce) and needles and emotionless stabilization. The further in her feet took her, the more her thoughts swirled with her nerves, jumping like a live wire. Maybe it would have been better with Astrid and Stormfly by her side, but they had veered off to the cafeteria with instructions on how to go the rest of the way herself. It didn't sound difficult, but it was the alone part that got her. She bounced on her toes in the elevator, biting her tongue, desperately reminding herself not to breathe so fast and not being surprised when it didn't do any good. The doors opened to the floor Astrid had told her. It took everything she had to step out of it, but once she had, those nerves kicked right back in. Somewhere on this level was Thomas. Right turn-- straight a while-- she began running before she knew it, the further down the list she got.There, and rationality left her. Two nurses grabbed her arms, giving her polite but stern words that she couldn't go in there yet. They had to make sure he was stable before they could allow visitors, but these fell on not deaf but panicked ears. "Please you have to let me in there, please!" she begged, struggling with them and pawing her hands at the glass windows. "He means everything to me! I need to see him! Let go of me!" They were repeating themselves, more urgently as her volume rose. Couldn't they understand her? Why weren't they listening? Why were they still fighting with her? "Please! You're not listening to me; I have to see him! I can't-- I need to be in there with him! Is it family you need? He's the closest thing I've got-- he's all I've got, you have to let me in, please!" She choked on the words as they and her composure together cracked and heaved like an old wooden house in a windstorm, bearing the brunt of everything they always held up. The tears were a stark contrast of heat to the still lingering cold from when this had all started, a sign of life, hot and feeling in this opposite place. "You've got to let me see him," she blubbered one more time as their resistance to her turned instead to holding her up as she trembled and tried to catch her breath, hardly able to with the unintended release of her terrified sobs. They apologized one more time and helped her stand, and they directed her to a waiting area or the hospital chapel. Their comments as good as went in one ear and almost out the other, muddling around as her panic began to subside into a half-aware daze. Being numb would have been preferable. All she could register right now was how terrified she was that he wasn't going to make it, that they wouldn't even let her in to make sure she got to say something in case that happened, and how much every single part of her body ached.She stood outside the window in spite of how they had ushered her away. The tears were still coming, but she was no longer sobbing like a distraught wild woman, only occasionally sniffling and shaking whenever her breath would catch and need an extra burst to get in or out. This wasn't right. This wasn't what he needed. He needed love in there. Her eyes shut tightly as the sensation of a sob built in her chest, forehead and palm of her hand falling into the glass as she let it escape. This wasn't helping anything. They would never let her in there if she didn't get a hold of herself, at least for a time. Eila stepped away, placed a kiss on her palm and put it back on the glass, humiliatingly the best she could do for now. Miraculously she wandered her way to that waiting area they had told her about, and she sat, staring straight ahead, losing herself in her thoughts.
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lola amethyst parr
 Posted: Oct 27 2013, 09:08 PM
Quote
203 POSTS
5'3"
Hm? Oh! Hi there! Is everything alright? I know everything around here seems scary, but there's nothing to be scared of! You see, there's this group. Filled with courageous beings. All looking out for you. Me? Oh. Heh. I'm just a nobody. Nothing special. But I'll help you the best I can.
26
Single
Bicurious?
Solar IS Offline
Violet Parr


this pain is just too real
The entire ordeal that had taken place with Thomas was a nightmare. She was there just in the nick of time to get the monster off of him. Was somehow able to coax him into having him walk to the tree. Able to do a makeshift job of cleaning the wounds on his side. If it weren't for Astrid and Stormfly showing up when they did, Lola shook her head as she pushed the thoughts from her. This wasn't what she needed to think about.

Looking down at her phone, she blew carefully at the steaming hot coffee she held in her hand. Her third cup of coffee since arriving here. She hated it, but after she fell asleep at Thomas' bed, she woke up in a bed of her own, in a gown with bandages on her from her travels. There was even a brace on her knee.

She wasn't the one that needed the attention.

The ride of the elevator was long and tedious. She was never really one for the dreaded things, but it was easier on her than using the stairs. Making her way towards Thomas' room, having gave the nurses and doctors the assumption she and Thomas were related; she had full intentions of sitting at his side until Eila arrived. If Astrid and Stormfly were able to make it in time.

Rolling her head around, she sighed blissfully as her neck cracked three separated times, and she hit the next button on her phone, switching the music to something less, feels inducing. The small selection she had on her phone was better than the noises she was forced to listen to while sitting in the waiting room.

If she had been paying attention, she would have passed Astrid and Stormfly. But as it was, she was trying to do the responsible thing and call work, letting them know she needed time off- family emergency. She was the made person of contact between Thomas and the Complex, letting them know his condition and if they needed to step in or not. As it was they were taking care of the medial bills and all that complicated paperwork, so all she had to worry about was Thomas' well-being for now.

And trying to keep a level head so she could properly handle Eila.

Turning the corner, she took another sip of the bitter beverage as something caught her eye, causing her to look up. Her coffee hit the floor and she felt the burning liquid fly up and soak through her pants. Suddenly she was unable to breathe, and the realization that she had to talk to Eila hit her like a ton of bricks. She had arrived sooner than she expected, and it seemed no one was able to tell her anything.

Swallowing a lump of bile that rose to her throat, she pulled her ear-buds from her ears, not caring how they made it in her pocket so long as they were in there, sliding her phone into her back pocket she ran a suddenly shaking hand through her hair. Closing her eyes and inhaling deeply, she stepped over her coffee cup and made her way towards the most painful thing she ever had to do since her Mother told her to take Dash and run.

Coming up behind her friend, she placed a gentle hand to her shoulder, trying to fight back the tears that welled up in her eyes. "H-hey...." The image that looked up at her torn at her insides as she saw something she never thought she would have to see in Eila's eyes. They were read and bloodshot, and Lola couldn't even begin to comprehend what the blonde was feeling. Swallowing became hard, but she forced back the sob that waited in her throat, even as the tears started to silently fall down her cheeks.

She wasn't ready to do this.

this is for EILA. it's 661 words. LOLA is wearing this
made by malone at caution 2.0

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eila tegwen llyr
 Posted: Oct 27 2013, 10:12 PM
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eila tegwen llyr
N/A POSTS
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.aa { text-align:justify; line-height:100%; width: 400px; height:300px; font-family: trebuchet ms; color: transparent; font-size: 10px; opacity:0; -moz-transition:all .8s ease-in-out; -webkit-transition:all .8s ease-in-out;}.aa:hover { text-align:justify; line-height:100%; background-color:000000; opacity:.8; width:400px; height:300px; font-family: trebuchet ms; color: #7FCBFD; font-size: 10px; opacity:.8; -moz-transition:all .8s ease-in-out; -webkit-transition:all .8s ease-in-out; }.aa a:link, .aa a:visited, .aa a:active { font-family:trebuchet ms; font-size:10px; line-height:100%; color: 7FCBFD; }.aa a:hover { line-height:100%; font-family:trebuchet ms; font-size:10px; color:#060895; -webkit-transition: all 0.6s ease-in-out; -moz-transition: all 0.6s ease-in-out; }.bb { text-align:center; font-family: 'Euphoria Script', cursive; color: #7FCBFD; font-size: 36px; opacity:1; line-height:100%; }to solar from lauraWORDS: 727CLOTHES: hereNOTES: None of this is my fault.unless you show me howPeople came and people went, coming and going, hustling and bustling around whether they worked there or were, like her, there for someone they loved. No one came to join her, which was probably for the best. Eila was far from in a sociable mood, not that she wouldn't have appreciated the distraction from her thoughts which became increasingly worse, but she could hardly concentrate on anything. She had been trying to read all of the words on the cover of a magazine at a table nearby to keep herself occupied and clearheaded. She'd had to start over four times. There was the very real chance that Thomas may not have in fact been okay, and that those nurses just hadn't told her anything, be it they really didn't know or they weren't allowed to say. This was unshakeable from her mind, as much as she was screaming inside for it to get out. It wouldn't move, and so she wouldn't move from her chair until someone had anything to say to her. Surely someone had to be there. If her focus would only improve, perhaps she would have realized she had yet to see hide nor hair of Lola. As it was, she hardly noticed anything, and the brunette's whereabouts, or rather lack thereof, did not occur to her.That is, not until she saw her. When she felt the touch of someone's hand on her shoulder, she was there enough to turn her body to see who was there. Maybe it would be a doctor or someone to say she could go see him now, or Astrid had come back up, or just someone who could tell her anything at all-- which was really the worst part, being the one there who should have known everything yet knowing nothing at all-- but it was Lola standing there, and for a few seconds, Eila quietly looked at her while it registered. Lola looked tired. Tired and scared, as she should have, considering how much she had been through and done. When her mind got to that point, Eila immediately stood and rounded her chair, throwing her arms around her friend. There were tears again, which she hadn't meant to let return at all but was hardly concerned about them, as she said in complete sincerity and earnest, "Thank you."Her hug was tight, even though she hadn't even looked to see if Lola had held anything or any other reason not to embrace her as such. Eila didn't really care, either way, not right now. She did her best to calm down enough to talk, though it was slow going. The last thing her composure needed was this flood of gratitude on top of everything else. "Astrid... Astrid told me," she managed, sniffing and blinking rapidly while her voice trembled. "She told me everything you did-- Lola he wouldn't be alive if you hadn't been there." Pausing there, Eila swallowed hard. Focus. Don't cry so much. she thought. She pulled away, hoping that maybe she was decent enough to manage at least looking at her, but seeing Lola's face made more tears rise up to her eyes. "Thank you," she said one more time, and she tried to smile through the stubborn tears. She looked down and rubbed her eyes with the balls of her palms as she took a deep breath in and out. That was a little better. Maybe Lola knew more than she did. Heck, maybe Lola had been smart enough to claim herself as family so she would get the information."I uh-- I should have said I was his wife or, or something," she said, pausing to sniff and looking off to the side while she tucked some hair away out of her face, a nervous habit, "but I panicked. They haven't told me anything." For a moment she considered adding the part about how they wouldn't even let her in, but the pang in her chest (as if it had ever gone away to differentiate any idea's response from another) told her she would only start tearing up again. She looked up at Lola's face again. "Is he..." No, 'okay' was too broad a term right now. Rephrase. "I mean I didn't see anyone in there to take care of him. I'm just not family to them-- is he stable?"
^
lola amethyst parr
 Posted: Oct 27 2013, 10:49 PM
Quote
203 POSTS
5'3"
Hm? Oh! Hi there! Is everything alright? I know everything around here seems scary, but there's nothing to be scared of! You see, there's this group. Filled with courageous beings. All looking out for you. Me? Oh. Heh. I'm just a nobody. Nothing special. But I'll help you the best I can.
26
Single
Bicurious?
Solar IS Offline
Violet Parr


this pain is just too real
She wasn't sure what she was expecting when she placed her hand on Eila's shoulder. Should she be worried about Eila yelling at her for not getting her sooner? Should she brace herself for an onslaught of tears? Would she be shunned told to get away from her? No amount of training could have prepared her for something like this. How the hell was someone suppose to respond? How do you tell your best friend and pseudo-sister that her lover was laying in a hospital bed passed out? That if she hadn't used her own brain and went out looking for him that he would have been.... lost to all of them.

As it was, she was glad she already dropped her coffee before coming to let Eila know she wasn't alone. For once her face registered in the blonde's mind Lola was stumbling back to catch Eila in a tight embrace. She stood there for a moment as her mind raced to catch up with what was uttered from Eila's mouth. "Thank you."

Just like that everything around her broke. The sound of shattering glass echoed in Lola's ears and the only thing that mattered was not loosing her balance and sending them both to the floor. Tightly she wrapped her arms around the other girl, more than glad to know she didn't hate her. Or, at least that's what she thought. For all Lola knew this could just be an initial reaction to seeing someone the other knew.

The tears fell just as fast as they formed, and for a moment the two of them just held each other and cried. It was one thing to mourn over someone you didn't know. I know that you didn't get there fast enough to help a stranger. But damn it all if it wasn't a million times worse when it was someone you cared about. When you knew in your heart, body, and mind that they would have died without you showing up. To know that so many people would have been lost without them.

Eila's words were weak, and it was almost hard to understand through her sobs. She managed though, and even though it assured her that she wouldn't have to recount the entire events again, it felt like a knife in her back when the guilt ran through her. She should have been the one to explain it all to Eila. Not Astrid. Not a doctor or a nurse. But what hurt the most was Eila telling her he would've died if she didn't show up. They were words she didn't want to think about herself, so to hear them coming from Eila was worse.

As her friend pulled away, she wanted to pull her back, to weep into her shoulder like she would her mother when she had a bad day at school, but she knew she couldn't. Now wasn't the time for that. Mirroring Elia's attempts to wipe her eyes, she ran the sleeve of her hoodie along her lower lids. She attempted to find the travel sized package of Kleenex she had grabbed from the nurse's station, but she the lack of feeling in her hands she only managed to make them fall from her pocket. The choked laugh sounded sickly when she looked down at the packet on the floor, but Eila's voice made her raise her head.

Slowly she nodded, completely understanding where she was coming from. "I-I was able to keep it together long enough to say I was his sister." Turning her head she saw a nurse walk past her coffee cup on the floor and she shook her head. "That's one thing I'm learning they're good at."

The question lingering in the air and Lola squeezed her eyes shut as a heavy sigh rattled out of her body. Slowly she turned back to Eila and forced her eyes opened. The image of Thomas laying in bed, IVs and heart monitor cables running from his body was etched in her mind. Inhaling deeply she ran her tongue along her lower lip before she answered. "He's... stable." Out of habit a hand came up to rub awkwardly at her arm. She really wasn't good at things like this. "He.. he endured a broken arm, and the doctors are amazed that the gashes along his side didn't rip into anything. He's... um.." Her lower lip trembled as she tried to keep herself composed. Eila needed to know, to be preapred for what she would walk into when they finally let her in.

"He looks terrible Eila. I... I didn't get there soon enough. And I.. Eila I'm sorry." Tears started to run down her cheeks again, unable to control them now. "I should have left sooner. I should have never gone in the encampment without him...." Her legs started to shake and she couldn't stand anymore. Before her friend she crumpled to the floor and hid her face in her hands as her body broke down in hard sobs. It was too much for her. She was nothing like her father. Couldn't compare to her mother.

How did she even manage to save Thomas?

this is for EILA. it's 870 words. LOLA is wearing this
made by malone at caution 2.0

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eila tegwen llyr
 Posted: Oct 31 2013, 04:17 PM
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eila tegwen llyr
N/A POSTS
IS N/A


.aa { text-align:justify; line-height:100%; width: 400px; height:300px; font-family: trebuchet ms; color: transparent; font-size: 10px; opacity:0; -moz-transition:all .8s ease-in-out; -webkit-transition:all .8s ease-in-out;}.aa:hover { text-align:justify; line-height:100%; background-color:000000; opacity:.8; width:400px; height:300px; font-family: trebuchet ms; color: #7FCBFD; font-size: 10px; opacity:.8; -moz-transition:all .8s ease-in-out; -webkit-transition:all .8s ease-in-out; }.aa a:link, .aa a:visited, .aa a:active { font-family:trebuchet ms; font-size:10px; line-height:100%; color: 7FCBFD; }.aa a:hover { line-height:100%; font-family:trebuchet ms; font-size:10px; color:#060895; -webkit-transition: all 0.6s ease-in-out; -moz-transition: all 0.6s ease-in-out; }.bb { text-align:center; font-family: 'Euphoria Script', cursive; color: #7FCBFD; font-size: 36px; opacity:1; line-height:100%; }to solar from lauraWORDS: 903CLOTHES: hereNOTES: THIS IS STILL SAM'S FAULT.unless you show me howShe hadn't meant to upset Lola, but her tears didn't come as much of a surprise. After everything that had happened, Lola may have been in even worse shape than she was. To find a friend like that, Eila couldn't imagine-- or rather she could, but she firmly chose not to. The lifestyle of the resistance made these things a grim reality. She remembered the terror and panic upon finding her mother, wounded and fading in and out like the sun through clouds. Eila knew very well what Lola might have felt when she found Thomas, and so she knew even more that Lola very possibly didn't want to talk about it. There was a kind of tragic communication between two people in tears, and those hot little waterballs of emotions did the talking for them. "I am hurting. Please don't let me go."She tried to laugh with her and shared in their miserable failure, sounding more like drenched kittens than people, as she bent down pick them up and place them back into Lola's hand. Quietly Eila nodded, gaze flickering to the passing figure of the nurse before coming back to the two of them. This wasn't right. All of them should have been allowed to know, allowed to see. Who gave a damn about biological ties? The resistance itself was a family, mismatched and full of broken people (or whatever they happened to be) but in their own ways dependent on each other nonetheless. That was as good as any old blood tie, if not better, but there was little sense in arguing this point with anyone on staff. They were only doing what they were supposed to do. It would have been like a smaller meat-eating fish trying to convince a shark that it was like a cousin, thus not to be eaten. The shark would follow what it knew and eat the fish anyway. More important than criticizing the mannerisms instilled in hospital staff was Lola's answer, for which Eila was still waiting. Patient and calm, she knew better than to push for it. Lola had been through enough; she certainly didn't need to be rushed and stressed anymore than what the day had already put her through. Most importantly though was that Lola could do this. Even if she didn't think she could, she could. She had to, anyway, because someone had to fill Eila in, and Astrid had done her job of getting Eila there at all. The longer Lola thought it out, however, the more anxious Eila slowly became. Seconds began to drag on as she waited, nearly holding her breath and reassuring herself that if the worst had happened, they would have all been up there and in worse shape than this. Thomas was okay. He had to be okay. If he wasn't-- Eila's brain did not comprehend that option, so it simply wasn't one.Stable, that was the word she'd been holding out for. It wasn't the best description, but it worked. It was what she had backed up to use, so Lola repeating it made sense. Comforting, not so much, but it wasn't the worst. Stable was wonderful compared to what it easily could have been considering what she'd been told. Eila shut her eyes and let her withheld breath burst out past the wall of her lips, her lungs taking in relief. She could handle this. For a moment, Lola having to handle it as well escaped her mind, still dwelling in the darkened calmness. A broken arm, well, that wasn't too major. They'd had worse. Thomas had almost died before with more than that, but this was a thought pushed out of her mind as quickly as it had entered. When Lola paused, Eila looked up again. Pauses in speeches like that were never good, reasons to search for the words while their mouths dried up and tongues retreated into their caves and begged not to say the words they found, and lips trembled like the snow in the first half-second before an avalanche. She was upset-- tears would follow; the top always slid first-- and Eila had to move fast to catch her friend, her arms wrapped around her again and easing them both down to the ground. She wasn't so sure Lola even noticed the effort. She wouldn't have, if the roles were reversed."Don't you talk like that," she said firmly, holding Lola tightly and rocking with her as her own tears began to rise up and spill down her face again. "I am so sick of the two of you constantly thinking you can't do anything. You saved him. You and Astrid... You listened to your gut and you went out there to find him-- and you did-- and no matter what you tell yourself you saved him." She paused to sniff, swallowing too as talking through crying had become painful, forcing herself to breathe and keep the ability to speak at all. "And-- and you saved part of me too," she went on, "so don't you dare-- don't you apologize to me and don't you tell yourself 'you should have.' He's alive in there because of you." She didn't mean to pause again, but her trembling lip overwhelmed her and forced her to stop, a painful ball rolling up her throat and coming out with shaking bones and sobbing breath. "I'm alive because of you."
^
lola amethyst parr
 Posted: Nov 4 2013, 01:22 PM
Quote
203 POSTS
5'3"
Hm? Oh! Hi there! Is everything alright? I know everything around here seems scary, but there's nothing to be scared of! You see, there's this group. Filled with courageous beings. All looking out for you. Me? Oh. Heh. I'm just a nobody. Nothing special. But I'll help you the best I can.
26
Single
Bicurious?
Solar IS Offline
Violet Parr


this pain is just too real
When you're with someone for a long time, you tend to pick up on their actions, their movements. Tiny things that would go unnoticed any other time. Spending days together on missions, nights just staring at the stars on the rooftop of your apartment building- wondering why everything's happening the way it was. Openly voicing all the fears, dreams, pain, memories- you began to learn everything about a person. How the tick. How to make them smile, or blush, or even pause and question themselves.

That's how it was between Lola and Eila.

They caught on to one another quick enough, Lola the quiet one and Eila stepping up to take the leader role. They worked well together. The were both level-headed, able to adapt to changes. They were both protectors, stepping up to be fighters in this hell of a fight. Stepping out of their comfort zones. Both had lost their family, granted they were in different senses, but it was still the same. For all Lola knew her family was gone. Lost to this darkness.

A relationship blossomed between them, and you wouldn't find a closer net of sibling love anywhere else. They both looked up to the other. Strove to be like the latter. So when Eila and Thomas finally got together Lola accepted him like a brother. A brother she felt she had always had.

Seeing family hurt is always the worst pain.

Eila had attempted to brighten the conversation, and Lola grasped tightly to the small packet of Kleenex's. Something that would let her stay relatively anchored and keep her from completely falling apart. Explaining how Thomas was, to this date, the hardest thing she had ever had to go through. The look on Eila's face, the flicker of fear that danced across her sister's blue eyes. It hurt more than any cut or hit she took in a fight on the other side. She knew that this girl's life rested in her hands. That whatever she told her would either ease her fears or crush her spirit.

Lola didn't like it at all.

Old habits die hard, and she couldn't stop the uncertainty that slipped past her lips. The self doubt she always had, ever since school- finding out she was a Super. It never went away. She would always feel it. No matter how thick she applied her mask, she would still never feel up to the same level as her parents. Her families Super friends. Even to the friends she made now. To Astrid and Hiccup. They were vikings- accustomed to this sort of thing. Even Eila knew more than her. And Brenna. Merida. They were all better at this, she was just a simple girl who was only good at hiding. Shielding herself and running away undetected.

When she broke, she didn't feel Eila's arms circle around her. Didn't notice when the blonde eased her to the ground. Her entire body shook as her sobs overtook her. She felt absolutely terrible. She knew she did right, did what she could and that was all that mattered, but she should have been able to do more. Shouldn't have been so tired after moving that monster from Thomas' body. She didn't care, she felt so worthless, and even though, as Eila was telling her, she saved two people that night. Saved the two family members she cared about the most. Her sister and brother. Two of the people who had accepted her after this hell of a Darkness took over.

She was a hero.

She didn't feel like it.

Feeling the wetness of Eila's tears streaming down her face, mixing with her own tears, she could only stay there and be rocked. Like a child who lost their favorite toy, Lola was nothing but a mess. Her eyes stung and her nose was stuffed, even though it was running like a faucet. Eila's words circled around in her brain, fighting the negative thoughts that were settled in her conscious. If she was the strong one, then why was Eila comforting her? Shouldn't it be the other way around? She should be the one holding Eila and letting her know that even though Thomas was bullheaded and stubborn, a reckless moose, he was alive. He was going to be alright. That she would never, ever in a million years let either of them down.

Reaching out with a shaking hand, Lola grabbed a hold of her friend's jacket. Pulling her even closer, she wrapped her arms around the other girl, burying her face in the girl's neck. It was selfish, she knew it, but she didn't want the other to let go. She wasn't safe enough from herself to be left alone. She needed the comfort, and she knew Eila needed it too. They both needed the other in this moment, and she held onto her tighter, managing to breathe in between sobs this time. She wasn't fine enough to speak, but she mentally tried to let the other girl know, "I know. I shouldn't think like this but I can't help it." Tried her hardest to let the blonde know that she understood, but she had her own demons to fight with.

"I'm sorry." It was weak, coming from her raw throat, but it was a start; even as fresh tears burned a path down her cheeks.

this is for EILA. it's 906 words. LOLA is wearing this
made by malone at caution 2.0

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eila tegwen llyr
 Posted: Dec 19 2013, 04:27 PM
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eila tegwen llyr
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.aa { text-align:justify; line-height:100%; width: 400px; height:300px; font-family: trebuchet ms; color: transparent; font-size: 10px; opacity:0; -moz-transition:all .8s ease-in-out; -webkit-transition:all .8s ease-in-out;}.aa:hover { text-align:justify; line-height:100%; background-color:000000; opacity:.8; width:400px; height:300px; font-family: trebuchet ms; color: #7FCBFD; font-size: 10px; opacity:.8; -moz-transition:all .8s ease-in-out; -webkit-transition:all .8s ease-in-out; }.aa a:link, .aa a:visited, .aa a:active { font-family:trebuchet ms; font-size:10px; line-height:100%; color: 7FCBFD; }.aa a:hover { line-height:100%; font-family:trebuchet ms; font-size:10px; color:#060895; -webkit-transition: all 0.6s ease-in-out; -moz-transition: all 0.6s ease-in-out; }.bb { text-align:center; font-family: 'Euphoria Script', cursive; color: #7FCBFD; font-size: 36px; opacity:1; line-height:100%; }to solar from lauraWORDS: 727CLOTHES: hereNOTES: Maybe, just maybe, I have found the feels turning point.unless you show me howMaybe this was a mark of growing up, that this was happening. Not the event itself, but the two of them there and the sheer amount of need filling up that room. One was in love, the other clinging fiercely to the nonbiological family she had put together, and neither's pain was more important or more severe than the other's. It hit her, as she watched Lola crumble further into her arms, just how much hurt governed their lives. Not everyone was as vulnerable to it as some people, but everyone she knew had lost something, someone, to the darkness. It was no wonder Lola was as critical of herself as she was. Wouldn't Eila have been, if she hadn't had anyone to teach her? If the ones who could teach her were robbed of the opportunity and could only tell her to run? Wasn't Eila like that now when it came to her magic? She wasn't fully trained. Hers was minimal compared to what she could have learned. Hadn't she felt all but powerless after she failed to save her mother? Hadn't she been stricken by the thought that she didn't know what she was doing? That she couldn't do it, wasn't talented enough? The wasn't and the couldn't that, as fighters, they couldn't afford to be bogged down by, but there they were all the same. There they were being devastatingly human.Slowly, throughout her thoughts and quiet watching, her own tears had become fewer (not stopped, but it was significantly drier across her reddened cheeks). Her arms adjusted, more firmly holding Lola. She had every right to be as upset as she was. Eila wanted to tell her that there wasn't a single person who could have been prepared to take that on basically by themselves. Even John Smith himself would have struggled through it, but this was not what Lola needed to hear. It would go in one ear and out the other, or else it would fail to register the way it needed to. "It's okay," Eila murmured. "I know you can't help it yet. I'm sorry I said that. That's not what you need right now." She was more than scared for them. She was traumatized, and Eila knew all the other could focus on was not their lucky success, but how close she had come to failing them all. It wasn't just about saving Thomas, but also about how many people's lives he touched in such positive ways. Lola, who had enough self-doubt issues as it was (regardless of how unnecessary Eila may have considered them; now was not the time), had been suddenly thrust under that massive extra weight of "everyone else," and now that it was all said and done, now that they were out of the rain and dark and lingering in white sterility, she allowed herself to crack-- and she was very much entitled to it. She had earned the right to break if she damn well wanted that release, and Eila was happy-- yes, happy, in spite of all this-- to be the one to hold her now. She rocked her, one hand rubbing her back, a melody humming in her throat. It was Thomas's mother's song, the one he had hummed to her when her mother had died. When he had held her and rocked her, too. It was almost funny, in a very twisted and cruel way, how she learned how to best comfort someone at a time like this from him, and now he was the one at the center of all the upset.Once she had gone through the song one full round, she took a deep breath. Whether it helped Lola or not, the motions had helped Eila. The inhale was still a little shaky, but her eyes had dried. So had the skin around them, the unpreventable consequence of so much crying. "I know... you weren't prepared for this," she started tentatively, not sure if it was wise to breach the subject, but she felt she had to try to get Lola in a better place. "You weren't prepared to find him like that, and you weren't prepared to save anyone, let alone the pressure I know you didn't mean to put on yourself. I know that just happens sometimes. But you did very well under all that pressure."
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lola amethyst parr
 Posted: Jan 2 2014, 12:13 AM
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Hm? Oh! Hi there! Is everything alright? I know everything around here seems scary, but there's nothing to be scared of! You see, there's this group. Filled with courageous beings. All looking out for you. Me? Oh. Heh. I'm just a nobody. Nothing special. But I'll help you the best I can.
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this pain is just too real
Lost. She felt so lost within herself. The pain. The fear. The knowing. All of it boiled within her and slowly, as she stayed crumpled on the floor in Eila's grasp, it all started to spill over. So much had been consumed by this Darkness. So much was lost, hurt, damaged. Lives were changed. Some for the best, some for far worse than what they were. Families were torn apart, some rebuilt. Others were abandoned and left for ghosts. Memories, good and bad, better and worse. It was all being etched away with each passing day. For some, they were lucky. They didn't know about the ongoing struggles the Resistance had in trying to keep travelers safe. Keeping each other safe. Barely able to keep themselves safe at times. It was a price that they all paid, some more so than others. Many gave up the chance to have a life; Eila, Thomas, Astrid- they knew that it wouldn't be the same. That it would be meaningless if no one was there to act as the wall. Others; Arthur, Christian, herself- they were trying. To have something on this side, knowing everything they cared for was lost; but too stubborn to give in.

It all hurt. For Lola is was even worse, not that she was more special than any of the others. She had watched, all those years ago, her mother tell her to go. To run. To look after her brother as this wave of blackness approached them. Was she doing it right? She had lost her brother. Both of her brothers. Everything that day. Was it what mother wanted? Was she living up to the memory of her parents? Would they be proud of what she was doing? Trying to continue her life as normally as she could, why she fought with others to try and save their home?

Was she good enough?

Trapped in her own thoughts, she held onto Eila. Clung to her as she let the whirlwind within her head consume her. She was able to hold it back for so long, but tonight- seeing Thomas in the state he was in. Knowing that if it weren't for her, he would have been dead. Would have took his last breath out there in the rain, trapped under that beast who took a chunk from him. Would Eila have held her like this if Thomas hadn't made it?

If the other had spoken, she didn't hear it; too consumed by her tears. Falling into the abyss that she faced every night when she laid her head upon her pillow. She was trying, but it seemed nothing working.

A noise. Faint. As if trying to push through a thick veil approached. It was delicate, calling to her. On the outside her crying calmed down. Her sobs turned to heavy breathing as the grip upon the blonde was loosening. The quiet humming of Eila's voice was pooling it's way past the dark curtains that were wrapping her insides as she finally started to come to. Rapidly her eyelids blinked as she tried to adjust to the cold, bright light that was the sterile waiting room. With the realization of the rest of the world, the comfort of Eila's hand rubbing her back seemed to bring her back to life.

She laid there against the other girl, quietly listening as the demons that once roared within her retreated from the bright light that was Eila's song nested itself in the cracks of her mind. When it had finally stopped, her breathing picked up, as she she were fearful of the pain coming back- but then Eila spoke. Her words were soft, caring. Motherly in a fashion. Words she thought she wouldn't hear reached her ears as silent tears rolled down her stained cheeks.

Patiently she waited until she was able to control herself. Before she willed herself to slowly pull back from the anchor who was stronger than she in this moment. Running the cuffs of her hoodie under her eyes, she fumbled with the tissue packet as she tried to clean her face up some. Her chest was still heavy with the pressure she carried upon herself, but it was lighter- knowing that Eila understood. Slowly she nodded, sitting there on her knees as she tried to find her inner bearings. "T-t-thank... thank you." Swallowing the lump that was growing in her throat, she inhaled deeply before turning bloodshot eyes up to her friend.

"H-he is alright though. We... we got lucky. They, they wouldn't let me see him when we first got here. They took him into surgery as soon as they saw his side. I-I did get to see him, after they released me." Slowly she pulled the sleeve of her left arm up, showing her the gauze that was taped to her. "After they wouldn't let me in I went a little hysteric." She followed it with a small shrug. "Said that I needed to calm down, so they sedated me, let me sleep for a while. But I sat there for a little while. I talked to him, but he didn't respond. I-," a weak, almost forced laugh escaped her cracked lips. "I feel asleep in the chair beside his bed. The nurse came in and saw, offered I get a coffee."

Quietly she sighed as she shook her head again. "Eila, I'm sorry. I did everything I could.."

this is for EILA. it's 914 words. LOLA is wearing this
made by malone at caution 2.0


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